(This is a sequel to "What's with the Torch?" and "Torch the Fucking Place!")

The moment I entered my office, I knew something was wrong. I’d normally be greeted by the solemn nod of the head, or the always welcoming "good morning." But today I was greeted by frowns with the pulling back of one's head. That and mumbling from under one's breath. I initially thought there was something wrong with my face. Was there something dangling out of my nose? Was there some weird zit on my forehead? Did I hit my head and not realize it and now there was a massive laceration on my face?

I made a detour to the bathroom to see if there were any concerns, only to find that I looked perfectly normal.

"Weird," I whispered to myself.

From behind me, the bathroom stall opened and my coworker Cristian walked out. He too gave me a look of bewilderment.

I searched for the question to ask him but he beat me to it.

"Whoa, dude. Why'd you change your clothes?"

I frowned. "What the hell are you talking about I just got here."

Cristian narrowed his eyes. "What the hell are you talking about, Ian? We got here at the same time."

"I literally just walked in."

Cristian's eye's widened. "Well, then there's some dude who looks just like you at your desk, taking calls and responding to your emails. Pretty sure he's using your IM…probably trying to hit on Jenny."

I felt my body go stiff, every nerve tightening as my mouth fell open. I knew who was sitting at my desk.

Cristian turned the faucet on and began washing his hands. "Should probably go see who's stealing your identity bro."

I left the bathroom without answering, my heart hammering in my chest as I made my way through the office. In the distance I could see him, sitting at my desk wearing my blue flannel, sporting the New Balance shoes I'd purchased a few months ago. What was he doing here? Why was he here of all places? And most importantly, how did he get here?

I could see him typing away to someone on Microsoft Teams. Moving closer I could see...

That he was talking to Jenny! This son of a bitch!

I grabbed his office chair and spun him around. "You've got a lot of nerve showing up here," I said through gritted teeth.

The last thing I wanted to do was create a scene. But that's pretty hard to do when your coworkers blatantly see you talking to yourself.

He raised both hands in defense, and in his eyes, I saw...sympathy?

"Whoa. Ian. I know what you're thinking. And I'm not here to fight, I'm here to make peace."

"Oh...fuck you." I snarled. "You blatantly tried to kill me!"

He kept a calm demeanor, his hands up in front of his face. "You torched my house."

Everyone in the office was staring at us. Looks of pure confusion on their faces. From across the office, I could see Jenny staring at us. Her eyes were wide, her mouth hanging open. Her head moved back and forth between me and myself.

"We need to get out of here," I whispered.

Ian agreed.

We tried to discreetly leave my office, which was useless since we made a scene, and decided to meet up at a bar down the street.

"So what the hell are you doing here?" I asked as I took a sip from my beer.

I watched as he...or I searched for the right words. Jesus. Did I look that bad when I was trying to find the right words to say? I looked like I didn't know a lick of English. Is this why I was still single? Was this why women rejected me on the norm?

He shrugged his shoulders. "Honestly. I'm just going to say it. You guys scared the crap out of us when you guys walked into our kitchen."

"So your solution was to chase us around with steak knives?" I retorted.

He held his hands up in defense. "Put yourselves in our shoes. I mean really think about it. You're having breakfast and YOU emerge from the basement."

"Probably wouldn't attack you with steak knives," I scoffed. And then I realized that we didn't own the fancy steak knives they did.

"Alright. Ian, I'm sorry. Cal and I both are." He paused and took a sip from his beer. "You guy's stumbled on to something big, and it's in both of our houses, spanning across the multiverse. I figured we'd come by and...just see how things are."

He seemed friendly, he even seemed inviting. I felt I was a decent judge of character, and he…or I, seemed genuine. I wasn’t really in the mood to fight myself, so I decided to hear him out.

"What do you want to know?"

He smiled, nodded his head, and took a big swig from his beer. "Let's start with Jenny. I mean...I just can't get over the fact that you're not married to her."

I damn near spit my beer all over him. I threw my hand over my mouth to prevent that from happening. "You're married to Jenny!??!"

He nodded and smiled. "Going on three years."

God this felt awful. I'd been head over heels in love with Jenny for...four years and here I was married to her in another dimension. I was lucky to have lunch with her. This was just great. In one afternoon I'd managed to hate myself even more, and it wasn't even myself.

"Cristian seemed like a good guy too...which is weird." He said.

"And why is that," I muttered, trying my best to hide my disdain from myself.

He thought it over, his eyes going upwards as he thought about his answer. "Well, because I took Jenny from him in my universe."

This was way too much for me to process. I felt like I needed six or seven more beers with a few shots of whiskey. I would be hanging out with myself in another universe, where he was doing unanimously better than me.

He seemed to read my concern. "Listen. I think we can figure something out here. We're onto something big."

We were onto something big. The ability to traverse through different universes was in our basement, and we'd uncovered it by accident. I had a whirlwind of questions to ask him. How and when did he get here? Why was his world so weird when it came to going through doorways? How was Jenny in bed?

I was on the verge of asking him a question when I felt my cell phone go off in my pocket. I retrieved it and saw that I had a text from Cal. I tapped it open:

Dude. Come home. I just killed myself.