Hi guys, I’m not sure if you’re familiar with the account “Bella bee :)” but if you are, I have some news. Bella was my best friend, and she lost her battle to mental health around the same time she last posted. I miss her everyday, her smile and laugh, and her little quirks that made her whole being shine. This is a letter for my best friend, who I know is looking after me. I love you, Bella.

Dear Bella,

I don't know where to start. How do you write to someone who’s gone? How do you put into words the emptiness that fills the spaces where your laughter once echoed? I miss you so much it physically hurts.

I keep thinking about the last time we talked. You seemed tired, but you smiled that crooked smile of yours and promised we’d go to the beach next weekend. I wish I had noticed the shadows behind your eyes, the weight you were carrying. Why didn’t you tell me, Bella? We promised to share everything, to be there for each other no matter what.

Do you remember the treehouse in my backyard? We used to spend hours up there, making plans for our future, dreaming about the places we’d go, the people we’d become. It feels so empty now, just like everything else. I went up there yesterday, hoping to feel close to you, but all I felt was the cold wind and the echo of your absence.

I’m so angry, Bella. Angry at you for leaving, angry at myself for not seeing the signs, angry at the world for being so unfair. But mostly, I’m just heartbroken. You were my person, my sister in everything but blood. How am I supposed to do this without you?

Mom says you’re at peace now, that you’re not hurting anymore. But I can’t find peace. All I can think about is what I could have done differently. Maybe if I had called more, visited more, told you how much I loved you more often… Maybe you’d still be here.

Everyone keeps saying time will heal, but I don’t want to heal if it means forgetting you. I don’t want to move on if it means leaving you behind. How do I keep living in a world that doesn’t have you in it? 

I found that bracelet you gave me for my birthday last year. The one with the tiny silver heart. I’ve been wearing it every day, a small piece of you to hold onto. I wish it could bring you back, even just for a moment.

I hope you’re okay, wherever you are. I hope you’ve found the peace that eluded you here. And I hope you know how much you were loved, how much you are still loved. You’ll always be in my heart, Bella, every single day.

I love you.

Ivy