_[PSA-this is literally just for me. I love Ezra and Liv’s story but it’s long so if you want a challenge to actually sit read through like several parts be my guest, enjoy ;)]_

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_6 years later . . . _

I pulled on the ends of my hair nervously. It had grown a lot in my time away. It was almost to my waist now. I tied it up in a loose messy bun and shook out my hands.

My years in Italy were phenomenal, a dream come true. I’d applied for a prestigious art school and had actually gotten in. I’d spent a lot of time going on tours of Europe seeing art exhibits and museums. I’d entered my paintings into many different shows with incredible success.

In my years abroad, I’d faced many adventures, some of them frightening, but nothing felt like enough preparation for seeing Ezra Sing again.

I sat in my car staring at my childhood home. My hands idly ran along the inside seams of the leather steering wheel, stalling. I stared at the porch and memories of the last time I stepped foot on it flooded in.

My very best friend had told me he loved me. Memories of his rain glossed lips against mine had often infiltrated my thoughts in the past six years. And then the moments that had followed. His broken expression had seared itself into my mind.

I had come to regret parting the way we had, but I never reached out, though I had drafted many emails and texts and letters. In the end I just didn’t know what to say. Where to start.

Taking a deep breath I opened the drivers side door and retrieved my suitcases from the trunk. Making my way up the walkway my thoughts drifted to his last words to me.

_I’ll wait for you. I don’t care how long it takes._

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My hand knocked on the door. I thought about how he’d held me so tight. Like I was his everything.

My father opened the door. He looked thinner than I remembered, but a smile stretched his features.

“Liv! My darling girl. It is so good to see you. Get in here!”

I grinned and stepped into my daddy’s embrace. I’d missed him. I didn’t realize how much. I felt fragile and fatigued in his arms, but safe. The safety a father exudes just by being there. I blinked moisturize from my eyes.

“It’s good to be home.” My father moved my suitcases to the bottom of the stairs and walked deeper into our home. He glanced back at me.

“Mom’s at the store running a quick errand and Bobby is out running around with his friends. I was making a salad in the kitchen. Come tell me about the trip here.”

Following him, I took in my home. A pang of sadness reverberated through my chest. I’d missed it. Everything was bigger than I remembered. I guess living in a dorm with two other people will do that to you.

“Okay.”

My dad started to chop lettuce and I tried to start on the tomatos but he waved me off. I opted for a spiny chair at the kitchen island instead.

“So how was the flight?” My dad asked, clearing the cutting board into a big bowl before starting on a new leaf.

I swiveled on the chair.

“Fine. Long, but fine. I slept a lot.”

My father laughed, his face lighting up.

“You have always been like that. Able to sleep anywhere. Your mother and I would have been up for the whole flight.”

I laughed along.

“I bet. Mom’s back still hurting?”

“It’s on and off.”

As if speaking of her summoned my mother, she walked in through the garage door with groceries in each hand.

“Liv!!”

“Mom!” I stood to help her with the bags.

She put them on the counter crowding my dad’s chopping space eliciting a string of complaints.

“You’re early! We were expecting you tonight.”

I smiled. “Surprise?”

She trapped me in a hug.

“The best surprise! I’m so happy you’re here. I’ve missed you!”

I returned her hug.

“I missed you too mom.”

Dad looked at the amount of bags on the counter raising an eyebrow.

“I thought you were just going to pick up some carrots Ames?”

Mom swatted his question away.

“I thought the Sings wouldn’t mind some chips and snacks. Besides, we do food honey you know this.” She moved to unpack the bags and sort out the things she’d purchased.

I on the other hand had gone still.

“The Sings?”

Mom looked at my father.

“You didn’t tell her, Hank? Typical.” She turned to me. “What your father failed to mention is that tonight is the Sings annual start of summer celebration. We are bringing the salad and some other snacks.”

I was thrown for a loop. My mother didn’t seem to notice and continued on as she put some of the groceries away.

“You can come with us. We weren’t expecting you till later but I’m sure the Sings won’t mind. They love you. Besides, Ezra will be there. I’m sure you’d like to catch up. You two were inseparable before you left. You know I think that boy was crazy about you. He was mopey for a while after you left. Wasn’t he mopey Hank?”

My parents starting conversing with each other but none off it fell on my ears.

_Ezra_.

Panic gripped my heart. It was too soon. I still didn’t know what I was going to say. My mother never knew. She didn’t know—I’d never told her how Ezra felt. How he’d told me. That day. . .

My dad glanced at the clock.

“We have to leave soon. You should go put your bags away and get ready Liv. Unless, of course, you want to go in that.” He smirked at my sweats and messy bun.

I throw a empty balled up plastic bag at him and he laughed.

“Fine.”

He chopped the carrots mom had bought.

“Do you need any help with your bags?”

I shook my head no.

“I’m good.”

***

I pulled at the skirt of my sundress feeling exposed. Hair in wavy curls down my back. I took in the Sings home. The trees I used to climb. The porch swing where me and Ezra ate creamies until the sun set. Longing filled my chest and a hole in my gut ached, surprising me.

This was it. I was going to see Ez again. A flutter of anticipation made my stomach hurt. My parents got out of the car and walked through the fence to the Sing’s backyard. I followed a few paces behind them.

I don’t know what I expected when I’d see him again. I didn’t expect him to look so. . . different. He had filled out. Any boyishness had long since left leaving him tall with broad shoulders. His sandy hair still fell into his eyes but it was styled. He wore a pair of jeans and a mid length tee. He looked. . . good.

What I definitely didn’t count on was a girl. She sat close to him smiling at Mr. Sing as he talked animatedly to them. Ezra looked relaxed.

A flash of Ezra’s rain drenched, hollowed eyes and despair as she’d left him crying on her porch sent a wave of grief through her and, unexpectedly, a surge of anger at the girl next to him.

I shook my head. I was so messed up. I didn’t even know this girl. Why did I suddenly have these negative feelings towards her? A twist in my gut was trying to help me puzzle it out but I ignored it as Ezra’s eyes met mine.

My heart hiccuped.

His eyes clouded and for the first time in my life, I couldn’t read my best friend. The realization that he wasn’t really my best friend anymore shook me. I felt like I needed to breathe even though I was outside. I broke the eye contact first. Heading for the drink table I downed a water. My mother unbeknownst to my internal struggle found me and steered me towards Ezra and his dad.

Mr. Sing greeted me warmly.

“Liv! What a pleasant surprise! We didn’t know you’d be here tonight!”

I smiled sheepishly.

“Hello Mr. S. It’s good to be back.”

Ezra scoffed. His dad sent him a look and the girl next to him looked at me with intrigue.

I nodded to Ezra awkwardly.

“Ez.”

His walls stacked high as he curtly nodded back.

“Olivia.”

My heart clenched, hurt, but I deserved that. His father looked at his son in confusion.

“Ezra introduce your friend. I certainly hope you haven’t let your manners be lost on you.” He not-so-subtly chided Ezra.

Ezra’s eyes betrayed the first notes of confliction as he glanced at the girl to his side. With a sigh he lost the attitude. He met my eyes.

“This is Mia. Mia this is Olivia Maddox.”

Mia smiled politely.

“Nice to meet you Olivia.”

For some reason I felt like crying right about now and was trying to keep it together.

“It’s Liv really. Nice to meet you too. If you’ll excuse me.”

Not sure if I was excused or not I headed for the house. Once there I stared at myself in the bathroom mirror. Some things became clear.

I missed my best friend. No. I _loved_ him. That’s what my gut had been telling me. Tears threatened to spill, but I had to go back out there so I looked at the ceiling till I could school my heart.

I realized now that I’d hoped his promise was still true. That he’d been waiting for me. But, that was selfish and I hated myself for thinking I could leave for six years, no contact, and come back to him. After I’d hurt him the way I did. It was clear that he’d moved on.

I didn’t even deserve him back in my life. Which was a torturous thought. Why had I been so stupid? To protect myself. To protect my heart that didn’t even belong to me anymore. He was the hole I’d felt.

A plethora of emotions: anger, jealousy, shame, sadness, and longing swirled in my heart. I hit my hand against the sink in frustration. After fighting off another wave of dangerous tears I went back to the party.

My parents sat by Ezra and his dad and what’s-her-bucket. I didn’t recognize anyone else here and my mom beckoned me back I over so I didn’t have much of a choice but to go sit by them.

I could feel Ezra’s eyes on me occasionally throughout the night but I ignored him as I tried to blend into the scenery only adding to the conversation if directly talked to.

When the party was over my parents had decided to stay behind to help. Curse my kind and generous parents. Mia was talking quietly with Ezra and it was making me sick so I started picking up trash hoping to hurry my parents along with the clean up. I took a big bag of trash to the trash can on their driveway. I sighed as I studied the sky for a moment. Tonight had been exhausting. I just wanted to sleep and never think about myself and my issues ever again. The sky was bruised with purple and yellow. Beautiful but painful much like my realizations tonight.

I walked back through the gate into the Sings backyard to find it empty of people. Everyone had gone home. Except Ezra stood on the deck leaning on the railing. Mia was no where to be seen. My heart started to pound.

I took a deep breath. I could do this. Hesitantly, I aproached.

Six years and I still had no idea how to start. . .