Platypus. Platy-pus. I'm the biggest idiot in the world.

Everyone was right. I'm stupid. Dumb. My parents probably wish they never got horny outside of that movie theatre. They made the biggest moron to ever walk this planet.

One mistake. One letter. It all comes crashing down. A filled auditorium. Eyes, so many eyes. The lights are too bright. I'm hot. Sweat trickles down my forehead, into my mouth. My stupid, dumb mouth.

Platy-pus. Not Platty-pus. Two T's. That's what separates me from Janice Lovelong. She's the winner. I'm the loser.

Someone pats my back, but it doesn't comfort me. It feel like every finger cracked another bone in my body, leaving me a sagging, bag of mush.

I'm second. Not first. Two. Worse than one. I'll always be a silver medalist in a world filled with gold medalist.

I hear my voice in like an echo, cracking on 'T'. The host, judge, destroyer of my world, sighed with a disappointed head shake. The crowd was hushed.

If Janice messed up, I would've had a second chance. One more chance. I could've proven myself. Could've... she spelled hippopotamus right on the first try.

Two P's. That's what makes her a winner.

The crowd roared. Standing ovations. The sweat on my face isn't just sweat anymore. A tear is able to push over the bottom lid of my eye.

My bottom lip wobbles. A small, helpless sound catches the mic. It blares through the speakers. Everyone is too busy lifting Janice up to notice it. My parents aren't in their seats anymore.

They're gone. They truly know, now. Not a single doubt in their mind that their son is the single, most idiotic person alive.

They probably hate me as much as I hate myself. At least I rank first in that. I'm first place in Hating Myself.

Plattypus. What a moron.