“Well it’s impossible to stop your thoughts. It’s more about being present.”

“Mm… I tried. Hated it. Being still like that. I can’t! I do it wrong or something.”

I rolled my eyes and sighed with frustration as Vee and I exited the nail shop.

I know her better than anyone. Our friendship has survived Destiny Child splitting, her brothers fight with police brutality, Katrina, and a pandemic.

She’s always on edge, nervous, one notification away from an anxiety attack, but refuses any and all help. Especially from me.

“Well it doesn’t change you over night,” I finally replied. “It’s about the routine. Cultivating awareness. Paying attention to your breath.”

When did I become so zen? So chill? Oh yea, that’s right when it got dark. When life gradually darkened and the walls starting caving in.

When I realized I was no longer in control. At the end of my rope. When all I had was “me” and “now.”

I use to think people who meditated regularly and spoke all spiritually were full of shit. Yoga and chakras. Shut up! I have real life problems.

But in my healing journey I learned to take what works for me and share with who ever is willing to receive the message.

I smiled half-way pleased with myself and acknowledged how far I’ve come.

“Let me be your mindfulness coach. Free of charge.”

We both laughed and jumped in the car.