I don’t want you to think I’m a climate-change denier, but the amount of glaciers currently bouncing the sun’s rays back into my eyeballs makes me think the guy who said the ice caps were melting was full of shit. I feel the same toward the person who said that cold weather was invigorating. I think it was my aunt. But whether it was or wasn’t her, I’m now imagining her catching frostbite and passing out in the snow. The snow on the top of the glacier, where she falls a little too far to the right and is cascaded down the cliff side. Only to awaken on an operating table with three fewer toes than she had previously and a head concussion. Then she gaps with fear as she sees my face appear asking if she still believes these conditions to be ‘invigorating’. I think I’m just tired. I still haven’t fully recovered from the flight here. Or should I say flights. I’m not sure if it counts if your layover is more than twelve hours of waiting time.This was only the case because of delays, of course, but I suppose there comes a point where the supposed’ joining-flights become a separate journey altogether. I did take a look around Vancouver while waiting, so I guess I could class it as a separate vacation. It doesn’t really matter either way. I’ll be honest, I’m a little relieved I’m so tired. Usually, the thought of arriving in a whole new place of work, decked out with a new team I’ve never met before, working in a research lab where the common buzzwords and jargon might as well be in a different language, would have me shaking more than the icicles on my eyelashes. I thought the only upside to jargon was that once you’d joined the club, it was universal across the globe. I was mistaken. You could also list ‘coming across as an entitled bellend’ to the list of things you can achieve from jargon but we’ll leave that for another day. The team seemed nice enough, even through my jet lagged and for some reason, over-confident brain. Not too many wondering eyes and only a few squarks from nerds who didn’t expect to have to work next to a woman. A few second-takes after remembering my qualifications and seeing if they matched the person who showed up. I don’t mind, though. I agree. If I were them, after reading my CV, I’d have also expected some troll with their own portable catheter and a decade’s supply of asthma inhalers. Simply because the world has to balance out. I’m not quite a supermodel, but I’d definitely agree that pairing my reasonable good looks, modest social skills and Da Vinci-like intelligence may make one shake their fists to the skies, cursing the creator for not leaving any boxes unticked. If it made them feel better - I’m shit at anagrams. If I had to give the glacial research centre props, it would be for the respect they give on the team’s time. It’s my first day and I’ve been given the entire morning to adjust to the new surroundings. Other than freezing my tits’ off, their advice to walk along the pier to get my body used to the weather was a smart idea. Maybe they will find something useful to contribute to the glaciologist institute? It would certainly make my guilt ease for the amount of funding that went on simply acquiring me. I hear a rumble from the largest glacier. The one I’ve been staring at blankly for the past ten minutes. It sounds weary. As if cautioning it’s neighbours that there’s a stranger about. Someone who’s not supposed to be there, but has turned up nonetheless. There’s another rumble as if to confirm it’s suspicions. ‘It’s okay.’ I say aloud. ‘I feel exactly the same way about you.’