happy birthday dad,

who’s laughter made us glad,

that while the world would crumble,

your love would never fumble,

among the cracks and debris of those who needed to be humbled.

we were left to fend for ourselves,

yet the lessons you gave weren’t how to spell,

but how to love and appreciate life,

since the world we are in reeks of spite,

happy birthday dad,

you never taught me how to be mad,

so now i have to tip toe,

between a doormat and a fiery arrow,

to stranger packrats,

and family who left me alone,

i am relieved to say your absence

does not often grab at my throat,

even those who were meant to be a reminder are too remote,

my nine years of life showed me more,

of who my love is meant for

happy birthday dad,

today is a day that makes me sad,

because what am i supposed to feel,

about a man who i can barely call real,

but whose few words and actions made this grief a looped movie reel

though on the days i miss you,

i feel sorry for the past and future me,

who couldn’t ask the questions i’d need,

others would speak for you and assume they knew,

but all they could say was what they wanted to be true

happy birthday dad,

i hope you don’t see me as bad,

i made decisions i didn’t fully understand,

but my heart was in the right place,

even if it wasn’t considered straight

but i think i’ve found some of the last remnants of my heart,

i wanted to know you were proud of my part,

in this world even when i’m reckless,

if your love for me was the greatest,

then as long as i love myself,

your love for me was, is, and will be endless