The Socks

I know where all the missing socks go. I do. I swear to God I do. I can’t tell you though. If I were to tell you, I’d have to kill you. I would. No, I’m serious. I really would. Honestly I’ve probably already said too much. I know you’re like a brother to me. I know you’re like an uncle to my kid. I’d have to kill you though. I would. I swore to never tell. If I told, they’d kill me too. So we both would be dead. You don’t want that, do you? I didn’t think so. So anyway, what was I saying? Oh yeah. Sorry about your divorce, bud.

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