Barbara Gordon was in a strange state, her usual pragmatic and perky personality was in shreds like her under things. She still stung from the night before. Wallowing in afterglow, the moony brunette was in her skin tight body amour, spike heeled utility boots. In dreamy repose, she hardly heard her father,use his key to enter her little flat beneath the library. He ordered his men stay in the hall and crept to her bedroom, peering in the open door to see the formidable figure of a female in the darkness. “Barbara,” he croaked as a full moon hung over him like a halo .

Barbara sat up, “Dad! Don’t come in here,” she realized there was no way out of this unless she became one with her inner bat.

He kept creeping in slowly, his old tired eyes adjusting to the light. Barbara reflexively shot up and hung from the low ceiling cloaked in her cape and bat wings.

“Barbara,” he wondered, “is that you?”

He was aiming a high beam flash light upwards. “I recognize your perfume.”

“Guano,” she hissed.

“Dad, you can’t be that clueless. You’re a cop for Gotham’s sake. Who did you think Batgirl was?”

“I never think about who any of you cape wearing weirdos are,” the commissioner grumbled.

“I’m your little girl, dad. How could you not know me anywhere?”

“How can you ask that?”

Bat girl fell from the ceiling landing before him.

“My daughter isn’t anything like you. She’s demure, a school girl. You’re some kind of mutant like Bruce Wayne...”

“What has he got to do with this?” Her guts were churning.

“Batgirl would know,” the old man shrugged.

“Why would I know?” She pleaded.

“It is you. Barbra, there’s no heroes and villains, don’t you get it? They’re Arkham’s awful legacy. You’re not like them. Bats, cats, clowns, penguins, poison flower girls, wise asses, orphans and mad doctors in charge of the snake Pitt.”

“I don’t want to have secrets. Daddy, I want you to know I’m fighting crime. I’m in love.”

“ Dear, you’re delusional. Batshit crazy as they say. You and the rest of the caped crusaders are agents of chaos, galvanizing evil in your rush to save the day, don’t you see that? We wish you bats would just stop..”

“How can we with Joker and Harley Quinn menacing our fair city.”

“Dear girl, you need help. You’re starting to sound like him...”

“Who?”

“That bat,”he shook his head.

“I thought he was a hero. I thought he protected the city from the dark villainy of ...”

“Of human kind, Barbara. You cannot vanquish evil much less turn Gotham into a safe place to live.”

“How can you say that?” She squealed.

“I’m not out of my fucking gourd, baby girl. Here I thought you had such a good head n your shoulders. What is this nonsense about being in love? Please tell me it’s not Bruce Wayne’s Ward. Or that bird brained sidekick to that psycho Batman.”

“Daddy! How can you think I’d become involved with someone so utterly...”

“What?”

“Young.”

The commissioner’s face grew red. “So let’s hear it lass. No more secrets you said.”

“Batman is my lover,” she stated stridently.

“He’s your what?”

“My lover,” she spat, “and what about your secrets, daddy?”

Manicured hands on her hips, she glared at him.

“It’s pretty pathetic, lass. I basically accommodate your boyfriend’s nocturnal antics. It’s theater. Bruce Wayne is Batman, a bloody billionaire . I let him demolish buildings, beat up thugs and chase slippery fiends like the Joker. I even let him bang cat woman on the rooftops when she is in heat.”

“Daddy, I know all about Selena.”

“Does she know about you, Batgirl? I seriously doubt that. She’s a true blue psychopath and you’re just a mouse with wings to her.”

“She’s not going to come after me, dad. Cat Woman is a booty call.”

“Maybe that is what the Bat is to the cat. What I want to know is where that leaves you?”

“I can take care of myself,” she argued.

“Don’t you see? Joker has guys who take a beating from the boy wonder and let Bat Man drag them to me for their punishment. I send a nurse in to patch them up and give them cotton candy made with laughing gas, a purple and green town car whisks them back to the sewer where the clown rules.”