The bags were packed, the car was loaded, the kids were thrilled and excited that the day had finally come, and in fairness so was I. It felt like years we had all been waiting for this day to come, vacation! A chance to get away, unwind, feel the breeze in your hair, and not that choppy almost crass kind you get at home. Lily my wife had just finished strapping the kids in, as she buckled into the passenger seat, the engine awoke, choking under this unfamiliar load, it’s not used to this much weight.

There’s something organic and pure about driving to your vacation spot, that is crudely and callously juxtaposed upon your return trip. Although you know before even setting off such a fate awaits you, it doesn’t for a second allow you to limit your overly optimistic expectations.

As we entered a very long stretch of narrow country road, trees lining uniformly either side in a thick and saturated formation, one could not help but notice the glazing glare of the sun rising above the tops of the trees, it really was a new dawn, a fresh opportunity to spend a whole week with your middle finger raised to all your obligations back home for an entire week.

There was screaming, shouting, bickering, crying in the back of the car, and to be quite frank I’d had enough, new dawn my ass, I was not having these kids ruining my weeks salvation from the hellish shit hole I’ve been festering in for the past 20 years, while they get to galavant into their undeserved futures with their petulant pathetic existence, burdening not just my sanity but my finances. Fuck them.

I turn to the back swerving the car with my head, crashing violently into the firmly rooted trees. The road suddenly busy, cars and people bustle and clamber for a view, to check we are ok. I say yes. Calmly open the car door, fingers twitching as I step round steadily towards the back of the car, opening the boot I unlock a long black box tucked underneath the boots fake bottom. Out I pull a fully loaded pistol. Screaming for everyone to get on their knees I wave the gun in peoples faces like a kids magic trick, people shake in pure terror as I swing the gun haphazardly around while my farcical family lay unconscious in the car.

Seconds later I knew. I knew what this meant. I realise that the boot was empty, the car was not under a lot of weight. My mind was, my stupid stupid head is! Was a week of salvation too much to ask for?

Pistol in my mouth was the last thing I tasted.