My mind races to and from the question set before me and my database of knowledge. As I peer for any recognizable answer I’m left with nothing. As I stare at the paper I can feel the threat creeping closer and closer still. The outcomes of getting these queries wrong are too much for me to think about as my mind is no longer racing, but stuck in shock. It’s as if the question has slithered off the page and began strangling my throat. I feel my heart beating faster. The air in the room seems to flee from my gasping breath. Is this really all I have left to give? I close my eyes hiding from the unanswered question. Hearing the beating of my heart slowly fade into the background. 

I’m left with nothing. Completely empty. I take a deep breath. It burns. Is this even air I’m breathing? Is this another one of their concoctions? My lungs ignite and collapse, but I hold it in. I hold it all in. The urge to scream. The impulse to run away. These feelings I’m told aren’t important bubble up inside me. Feelings, emotions, they’re just chemicals. The processed reaction your brain dishes to the body to keep you alive. Dopamine, serotonin, endorphins, adrenaline, acetylcholine . . . they all are just natural reactions to environmental stimuli. As this thought gathers, and I feel the question release it’s hold, I remember who said this. It was my sister. Similarly, this is also nothing. Just a question, I need to answer to get an outcome. A process that needs an output. Wrong or right changes only what test they will try next.