O new neighbour across the street

I see your hair so fluffy and your clothes so neat

And yet there’s something evil about your smile

Your innocent air, crafted with guile.

You sit serenely rocking in your chair

You talk to us all, you advise and you care

But you do not fool me! No, I’m too wise

To be taken in by your black, sugar-coated lies.

You wave everyday when you see me walk by

I frown upon your tactics, so wicked and sly

My hostility seems to perplex and amuse

O warty witch! I see straight through your ruse.

I wait, I enquire, I spy, all night and day

Surely you’ll slip up, give the game away

My patience rewarded one starry night

When you shuffle out under lamps so bright

I watch eagerly as you creep to your yard

Wait for my long-due, hard-earned reward

Sure enough, you look about and start to dig

Drag out a sack, suspicious, creepy, big.

At the very last minute I pounce, and I cling on

“Your crimes have been discovered, you notorious con!”

My triumphant yells draw the neighbours out

I pant, but grin- yell a victorious shout.

As everyone crowds around, whispers loud and clear

“Why has this lunatic accosted Mrs Carstairs, the old dear?”

I cry, ”She’s a knave, a crook, an evil go-getter!”

“A scheming fiend in a nightie and pink sweater.”

I reveal the sack, the evidence of her crimes.

The discovery that shall be celebrated in rhymes.

I open it, and, eyes wide with horror, dump on the ground

Toys, sweets and goodies for the children all around.