I couldn’t wait to tell him. The public beach closed at dark but Ronny’s beach house was private. She’d set up a fire pit out in the sand and stocked a cooler with cheap beer. Reaver pulled up with a speaker and backed his way down to the circle. When everyone started showing up I waited, occasionally participating in the conversation. “You’re sure he’s coming?” “For like the billionth time, yes. He said he was bringing some friends from school and that free drinks sounded great.” Callum would come, I would tell him how I felt, that I had been wrong to end things. I would tell him that being with him, even long distance, was better than being apart. As it got darker, I kept asking Ronny until she looked like she might punch me until I finally heard it. The screech of his brakes on that ancient Corolla. My heart stopped, and all of a sudden he was there. 6’2”, sandy brown hair, dark brown eyes. I stood up ready to run to him and confess everything. One step after another I walked up the beech never taking my eyes off him. Nearly there I raised my arm to catch his eye and— Some girl slid around his side. She reached up on her toes kissing his cheek and when she turned toward me, I couldn’t breathe. Why was Ileana kissing my ex boyfriends cheek? Why was my childhood best friend lacing her fingers with his?! Her smile faltered as she gave me a small wave. My face burned and I turned, making my way back to my chair by the fire. Ronny caught my eye and sat up concerned, “What happened?” I flopped down in the chair taking her nearly full beer and chugging. Ronny looked up to the house, her eyes widened. “Oh shit…” “Don’t.” “What the fuck is—“ “I said don’t!” I must have yelled, most of the heads turning our way, including Callum’s. I felt like my heart might make its way up my throat, form it’s own mouth, and throw up for me. I stood abruptly nearly knocking over the chair, grabbed another beer, and headed straight for the water. Maybe I’d just keep walking and drown. Would that be better than facing the rest of this party? Once I reached the water I sat down letting the waves roll over my feet, feeling it drag away the sand beneath them and letting my feet slowly sink deeper. “Am I allowed to explain?” He would follow me. Too decent for someone as selfish as I was. This is what I wanted, to have fun in college, date guys, go out drinking, but no one told me that my new friends wouldn’t look out for me. That instead of taking care of me they’d let me go to far, or get taken advantage of. That I would miss what I had. “You have nothing to explain. We broke up, you can date whoever you choose to.” “We didn’t intend for this to happen, you introduced us at the beginning of the year, and it was nice to have someone I was already connected to. Then you ended us and she helped me through and we just kind of bonded.” “I said you don’t have to explain.” “Can we catch up? I mean are you loving your single life that you wanted? You’re posts always look like a blast.” He sat down next to me and felt the sting developing behind my eyes. How could I tell him how wrong I was? I felt myself shaking and took a deep breath. “You cold? Take my jacket.” He stripped it off and shook off the sand. When he leaned over I could t help but lean away. In the dark it felt like it had that night at the party, too close, too much. His hand landed on my shoulder and I flinched away, scrambling onto my feet. He stared at me pulling the jacket back on, his expression turning dark. “What happened?” The pressure behind my eyes grew and a tear spilled down my cheek. I wiped it off fast but he had seen it. “Nothing just go.” He stood up moving closer which only made me back up further into the water letting it crest the tops of my shins. He stopped holding out his hand for me, “come on, it’s me.” “I know that. I know it’s you, but it’s too dark.” Keeping his hand out he backed up “If I keep talking does that help?” “A bit.” “Alright well walk with me, let’s get out of the water.” I followed him out and we moved into the distant glow of the fire. “Can you see me now?” I nodded and he beckoned with his hand. I took it and he pulled me into his arms. I cried and he just held me. Why did I give this up? “Tell me what happened Sophie.” I shattered letting it all come pouring out. He was the only reason I was still standing by the end.