WRITING OBSTACLE

Write a descriptive passage about the feeling of comfort or escape that can be found when reading a story.

Maybe you remember getting lost in a good book - try to describe this unique feeling!

A True Artist

The sun shines on my head; the spray from the surf mists my face; the wind blows through my long hair. I feel his arms slip around my shoulders and I know I am safe. I lean back into his broad chest really truly content for the first time. The colors of the sunset are brilliant and an involuntary deep sigh escapes my lips.

I take a deep satisfying breath and turn the page. I lean back deeper into my pillow and take a moment to appreciate the author and the magic he creates with every word… a true artist.

Comments 1

AI Writing Editor

2 years ago

This piece of writing creates a descriptively detailed setting with few words. You do a great job of painting a picture for the reader to imagine. What could be improved is the transition from the description of the sunset to the book. Right now, this transition feels abrupt. Consider using a few more words to describe the exact moment when you lean back and take a deep breath in preparation for reading. Make sure that sentence has a clear connection to the previous sentence.

Furthermore, try to relate the physical feeling of comfort that you get from being held to the feeling of comfort you get from reading. Rather than just saying that you appreciate the author, you could explain why the author’s storytelling has such an effect on you and why it makes you feel so safe and content. It is unclear if the narrator is talking about physically being held by someone, or if this is a metaphor for the safety of the book. The very literal language makes it sound like someone else is there, but the narrator leaning into their pillow suggests otherwise. More figurative, metaphorical, and poetic language could help make this distinction clearer.

Overall, this piece of writing contains many evocative examples of how reading can bring comfort and escape. With a few tweaks, you can add more detail and clarity to this piece, making it even more powerful.

A True Artist

Melani Travioli