This satirical poem will show you the way,

To craft your grand story in just half a day.

First, toss all your plot in a blender with jam,

Add sparkly old socks and a wig from a ham.

Do not, and I say this with utmost control,

Allow any E in your poem or scroll.

It’s far too much liked—it’s unfair, it’s absurd!

So banish that letter, that overused word.

All protagonists must be a yak or a ghost,

Who drinks purple soda and hosts a roast.

Add drama with llamas (on leashes, of course),

And always include a time-traveling horse.

This satirical poem will win you great fame,

If you follow my rules and play the weird game.

But truthfully, pal, just trust your own voice—

Writing’s not rules. It’s making your choice.