If I could demonstrate to u what exactly I was doing I could say it in two words:

Not worrying.

It is a insane idea I don’t have to worry about what anyone thinks when this little story is happening. I don’t need to know what the word incapacitate means because I really don’t.

I don’t know how to say it or spell it.

But as I write this little journal entry for someone who is not me. Maybe someone named Susan. And she has 5 brothers and lives in DC with her mom but no dad. And she goes to school but the point is it is not me and I can write about someone else.

So a story solidifies in my mind but I don’t need to share Susan’s story today.