I told her to meet me at Hopps, it was the place we met every Thursday night for dinner and drinks. Except today was a Monday. I keep this in any longer. Even if she doesn’t love me back, at least I will told her my truth.

When I called, she seemed worried from her tone, I mean we have never been to Hopps on a Monday so it’s warranted. She said that she had something to tell me too. What if she is confessing the same thing I am? I don’t want to get excited thinking of that. I know myself and if she doesn’t say the same thing and I got myself excited, the let down would be devastating.

I pulled up and saw her bright red Volvo already parked, it was hard to miss even with the probably 50 cars. I thought that was weird, 50 cars on a Monday? I walked in and realized it was karaoke night. Drunk 22 year olds and 65 year old alcoholics were taking their turns screaming into the microphone that definitely did not resemble whatever lyrics they were supposed to sing.

I see her sitting in our normal table- back left two seater. I’m so glad we chose that table all those years ago. It’s perfect for a night like tonight when I’m about to tell my best friend that I’m in love with her while a college sorority girl sings I kissed a girl by Katy Perry in the background. She looks a little different than normal, but I can figure out why.

I pull out the tattered leather chair that has a slit straight through the middle that always startles me, even though I’ve sat here once a week for 3 years.

She doesn’t waste any time, “You go first.”

“Do you want to order anything? We could split a pitcher of beer and-“, she cuts me off quickly.

“No I need to hear what you have to say and I need you to hear what I have to say and I cannot wait,” she says with a blank stare on her face. This is a weird start.

“Okay, uhm, remember when you said the other day that you don’t understand why I never go out with guys?” I hesitated a bit.

“Yes, I still don’t understand.” She looked confused as to where this was going.

“Oh gosh” I’m thinking in my head. I didn’t really plan on how to say this. How do I do this?

“Well, I think it’s because, uh, uhm-“ I stutter. I had a stutter when I was a kid and I haven’t heard it since I was 7.

“Come on, Tess, just tell me, it can’t be that bad.”

Okay here it goes. “It’s because I’m gay.”

“Yeah, I know that.” She said that a little too confident.

“What do you mean you know? You said you still don’t understand why I don’t go out with guys?”

“I wanted you to tell me in your own time. I’ve pretty much always known. Ever since we started going to summer camp, you would stare at all the girls in bathing suits when you were wearing sunglasses.”

Damn I didn’t know that she could see my eyes through sunglasses.

“Well okay, but that’s not it, I, uhm, also am, uh, I think, possibly, in love with you?”

Her big green eyes get even bigger. She knew I was gay, but she didn’t know I was gay for her, that’s for sure. It feels like it’s been 5 full minutes of her just staring at me, shocked. It’s maybe been 30 seconds.

“Please say something.” I try to put a slight smile on my face.

“I came here to tell you that my dad punched my mom in the face and I tried pulling him off of her, but he tried hitting me so I stabbed him. I grabbed my mom and we left. We saw cops there and he was in a body bag. So I think I’m leaving town.”

Hm. I prepared myself for her to say she does not feel the same. But I did not prepare myself for her to say this. Now it’s my turn for the, what feels like 5 full minutes, 30 second stare.

I reach out with my right hand, palm up. She rests her finger tips just on top of mine. At least we both know the truth.