It’s almost three in the morning. Only one hour until I can clock out.

In the break room, I leafed through all of my patient’s files. As I did so, I could barely keep my eyes open. Fatigue drained all the energy from my body. Unfortunately for me, I didn’t have enough money to buy an energy bar from the vending machines. I must push through the remaining minutes of my shift as I read through the piles of paperwork.

“Hey, Lana? You remember Darren, right?” My coworker Stephanie asked.

I nodded. Memories of the former patient overwhelmed my mind. He was in about his late twenties diagnosis with lung cancer. No matter how many rounds of chemotherapy he suffered through, a smile was always on his face. He knew it would only delay his inevitable death, but that never changed the happiness he brought to others. Even when he had no family, no friends, not even a significant other to visit with.

The poor man had passed away three weeks after his birthday.

“Yes, I remember him. Why?”

Stephanie handed me a small white envelope and left without a word. The keys hooked on her waist clinked loudly against her blue scrubs after each step.

I took the white envelope carefully in between my fingers. The entirety of it is blank except for the small “sealed with a kiss” message on the edge of the flap. There is no indication of who this is to or where it’s from.

With my purple acrylic nails, I ripped the envelope open in one try. Ruby red rose petals poured out on the table. Digging my hands further inside, I found a folded piece of lined paper. A letter. It read:

Dearest, Lana

Today is my last day on Earth. While that may be tragic, in all of my twenty eight years, I have never felt so cared for and appreciated. All of my life I have been alone in this world, with no purpose or any other reason to live. And when I was diagnosed with cancer, I felt I was only put into this world to be punished. But as soon as you entered the hospital room, all of those feelings melted away. Your laughter was contagious, your smile was as bright as the sun, and your eyes sparked with hope. The memories, thought limited, got me through each round of chemo because you were right there with me. In a way, you saved me.

That’s when I began to fall in love with you.

But I knew my time was coming, so I couldn’t confess to you then. I could never bear seeing your heart broken. So when I go, I want you to know that I am okay. To not focus on what you lost, but what we had. Live your life. Find love. Have children if you want! Just keep in mind that I’m watching over you, and I will continue to do for eternity. Until we meet again.

Love, Darren

Tears spring to my eyes, daring to spill down my cheeks. This was the first time anyone had ever put this much thought and effort into telling me how they feel. Each word was raw, compassionate, and true.

Through blurry eyes, I looked up at the clock. Only one minute until my shift was over, until I could go home. But I didn’t rush to get my things together, nor did I move an inch from the chair. This letter reminded me why I became a nurse. Why I put in all of this hard, exhausting work. I did it because of my love for helping people. The smiles and happiness when a patient finally gets discharged kept me going. The fellow nurses who I became close with, who are now my most trusted friends. The lives I get to save.

I wouldn’t change any of it for the world.

And that will never change as long as I have time.

Time in this world to keep living.