Normally I would write from fantasy, but this prompt gives me the queerest feeling: the feeling that I must drop the guise of the author and send out raw thought through prose one may only write when he is completely candid. I hope that by sharing what I’ve seen I may inspire others to live on, to see the world in the way that I do. I implore you, reader, not to blindly agree or disagree with me but just to listen. I, like you, am a wanderer among this grand cosmos, searching for a purpose.

I am well acquainted with death. I have seen family and friends perish to the hand of cancer, dementia, and simple unfortunate tragedies. Over the course of my freshman year, I had lost over five very close friends and relatives. When confronted with death, most turn to grief or anger. Some question God whilst some bury their troubles. I did neither of those things. I began to retreat into my own mind, asking not whether one should still live but rather if I should die. I felt worthless. I became engrossed in study; perhaps if I become the theoretical perfect version of myself, I’d find a reason to keep living. Turns out that humans fail, and they fail often. I fell into clinical depression, raddled by anxiety. I had cut my own flesh to appease my mind. Eventually, I didn’t wish to be alive at all.

But this was not the end. I was one of the lucky ones: I got help. Over the course of a year, I’ve been to doctors and therapists, reaching for the elusive limb that was self-worth. Eventually, I grasped it. If I am still alive, if some force outside of myself has kept me alive for this long, I must have a purpose. This thought blossomed within me, a flower in the desert, my oasis. I began to reintegrate with society. I worked, I played, I studied. Now, although feelings of worthlessness still abound, I know I am alive, and I shall fulfill my purpose.

What is my purpose? What do I need to so to fulfill it? I don’t quite know. I shall devote my life to finding the answer, but if God has kept me alive, I shall continue to live. I shall tell my tale to all those who will listen because I know that there are others like me. Dear reader, I beg you to consider me an example on a change in course, from the desolate place of nothingness to the freely abundant place of life. Whatever you’re going through, dear reader, I know you can make it through this dark point in your life, and I know we both shall come out the other side better people than we ever knew possible. Thank you for your time.