As I survey the hushed audience waiting below, I consider my opening line. ‘I can show you meaning in a grain of sand’. I’d pause there, long enough for the meaning to sink in; long enough to make them think. Thing is, it’s easy to know the meaning of life when you speak in riddles. You can use a thousand words and not say anything at all. This is my secret and no, this is not imposter syndrome speaking. I do not have a complex whether superior or inferior, I just know how to play the game.

See, people are sheep. They like to follow and live within the field. They like the fences and often make these much smaller and narrower than they need to be. They gather a flock of sheep like themselves and whilst they occasionally admire - or even converse - with another animal (a cow, a horse, a farmer) in another field, they seldom open the gate to either leave or let them in. My words are the fence posts in the gates. The meaning they attach to my words become the slats that make the fences secure.

I take in a deep breath and allow my gaze to float over the audience, pausing to gather eyes, trying to make it personal to all. although I don’t bow at the end, it’s still a performance. I hold up my hand and open my mouth…

And before I offer them the platitudes they have paid to come here, I give them the only grain of truth I’ve managed to glean in my 70 years on the planet.

The meaning of life… I smile.