Ferris kissed me on the mouth and it didn’t feel right. His lips were a bit chapped, which I already knew given how many times I’ve scolded him for never having chapstick handy.

We lived in Ohio where the snowy tempests did not relent during winter months and any sort of skin exposure was subjected to forming fissures as deep at the Grand Canyon.

I don’t want to complain about the awkwardness of what just ensued between us seeing as I, too, am likely not the best kisser in the world.

But it was my first kiss and even though I shared it with someone who I’ve known since I was in diapers, I still couldn’t help but feel like I had been robbed of something that could never be restored.

Perhaps it was the kiss itself. It was not as natural of an experience as they highlight in the movies, that’s for sure. It wasn’t slow nor too fast. It just…was.

I looked over at Ferris who was awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck.

“Ferris” I gently laid my hand on his arm. He flinched.

“Sorry about that back there. Earlier. Back there”. A soft blush crept up his neck quickly disappearing as fast it appeared.

I was sorry too, although we both did not have to apologize for something that was out of our control.

“I know” I squeezed his arm in reassurance before I let my arm fall back at my side.

We stood outside in the driveway of Stacey Winterbrooks family home. A few of our close friends had gathered at her place and were having a great time until Evan Gravenbeak and his hooligan crew crashed the celebration.

It turned out that one of the girls with who I am not closely acquainted —Cassey, I think—was dating a guy from Evans crew. So of course she took it upon herself to invite them without telling anyone. Even Stacey.

After the shock died down from their arrival, all twelve of us sat in a circle in the living room with a green, empty beer glass laying on its side in the middle of the circle.

I had never played spin the bottle before and one can only imagine my horror when the bottle landed on Even Gross-beak and then, on myself.

A few snickers and gasps erupted through the cramped living room. I may not have been privy to the way this situation ended up but I was not going waste a precious kiss on a spitwad like Evan of that I was certain.

“I won’t do it. I forfeit”, I said with no emotion in my voice which, to my surprise was met with more than a handful of disapproving remarks.

“You have to kiss someone then. It doesn’t have to be Evan”, Stacey the traitor stated with a smile playing at the corner of her lips. My heart thrummed wildly in my chest.

Peer pressure was a b-tch.

I turned to my left and met Ferris’ gaze which oddly held a tint of longing and anticipation. I couldn’t… not Ferris.

But I really did not want to kiss Evan. After a couple seconds of inactivity people were starting to get impatient. At this point, Ferris had woken up from his odd trance.

Then before I could blink he raised both hands and cupped my face as he pulled me close until my lips touched his.

The room erupted in cheerful laughter, and not long after we pulled away had I gotten up to get fresh some air.

As I replayed that moment over in my head I cannot bring myself to get over the shock of kissing my best friend.

However, as I stared at the side of his face and suddenly noticed that his nose is like a button and that his lips-

-though dry-are quite a comfortable size…I cannot bring myself to hate that it happened, either.