The crushing feeling in my chest only intensified as I looked into her brilliant green eyes. Her lashes down caste; slowly fluttering with the movement of her slow blinks. “I was just trying to be what you wanted.” I pleaded with her to understand. To look into my heart and see the purity of my intentions. The room was cold and dark, only the pale light from the outside illuminated the disarray. An overturned table spilled its ornaments over the rumbled rug. The amour broken, it’s continent scattered around the room. A mirror lay on the old wooden floor in sharp shards.

A small crease marred her brow as she lifted her eyes to mine. They pierced me with a hardness that I had wished to never see in her. “You’re a monster. You thought that this was what I wanted?” Cursing my name she stood, unsteadily in the messy room. Walking to the far wall, the furthest point from me. The crimson rivulets staining the once white walls, painted a story of the chaos that had befallen the household. “How could you do this?” The venom in her words knocked me back in my chair.

My pale hand found its way to my throat. I felt as though I were being ripped open under her steely gaze. “My love, you told me that you wanted a man that took what he wanted, a man that can provide for you. Someone to fight for you and everything that you want in this life.” I stood up, standing tall in the wrecked room of the small two bedroomed bungalow. The yellow vapour street lights shining in the netted window, illuminating the scene in a ghostly half light. “This is what you wanted.” I snarled, as she shielded her face from me.

Slack jawed she encompassed the room in her thin arms. “You killed these people!” The scream tore from her throat. Her hand covering her mouth. The copper tinged air making the room feel stuffy and threatening.

“You said that you wanted this house, right? What was I supposed to do? It’s not like I have the money to buy it.” My frustration was getting the better of me. If only she could see how much I loved her. That there was no line I would not cross for her smile. I stepped forward only to have her cringe away.

“You’re crazy!” She shrank back against the wall, hugging herself with shaking arms. “How could you do this? You’re not the man that I…”

I didn’t let her get any further in that sentence. I advanced on her trembling form. “You wanted this house, and I got it for you. You ungrateful witch.” Life shattered around me, each broken piece reflected the image of the women hat had wronged me. Starting with my mother, every girlfriend I had ever let into my heart. It was too much to bear, all of them snarling at me from my memories. My hands acted if there own a cord as they fastened around her thin neck, squeezing slightly to establish dominance in the situation. “You wanted this, all of this is your fault!” I spat. Her face changed from one woman to another in my mind. The betrayal and hurt tearing at my heart.

“Please…” her red nails clawed at my skin, tearing at the back of my hands before reaching up to claw at my face.

I shook her hard, extending my arms, keeping her away from me. “If only you could see how much I loved you. Why do you make me do these terrible things?” Tears ran freely down my face as I watched her eye widen in panic. Her complexion turning bright red with my fingers digging into the soft flesh of her neck.

“Please….stop….” She gasped, her legs kicking at my shins.

“Go to hell Cassy!” I slammed the back of her head into the blood smeared wall, hearing the crunch of her windpipe, feeling it under my thumbs.

Her tongue lolled out of her mouth, eyes rolling into the back of her skull. I released my grip, as she sunk down the wall to pile in a heap at my feet. “Why Cassy? Why do you make me do these things?” The tears came thick and fast; cradling her limp body in my lap. “Why do they always make me do these things to them?” Seemed that there were no good women left in this world, no matter how hard I tried they always managed to disappoint me.

Composing myself, I left yet another house of unspeakable horrors. Returning to the blue Vauxhall down the street. I needed to get cleaned up, the blood soaked into my flannel shirt was becoming uncomfortable as it scratched my skin. Perhaps I should go out for a while. Try to forget about Cassy and her lofty expectations.

The club was loud, thumping music erasing the memories of Cassy. The bright lights slamming into my eyes. The club was dark, smelling strongly of alcohol and sweat. I down my pint, looking around the dimly lit dance floor. Filthy women grinding up against men that they barely knew. It disgusted me. My gaze traced through the club, finding a familiar pair of eyes staring back at me. I smiled at the woman before her face fully registered in my mind. Silhouetted by the strobe light, she looked ethereal.  

Her red lips turned up in a dazzling smile; she waved at me from across the room. Her arms outstretched as if to beckon me to her. My heart stopped as I stared at her from across the crowded space, “Cassy?”