I won’t lie to you, what I do is considered a scam. But it isn’t like those scams for money or for social security. No, those aren’t valuable, not from my standpoint. Those things can be returned, earned again. What I scam people is something on a larger scale.

Think of a time you ever waited in a long queue, maybe at the dmv or waiting for a roller coaster. That feeling when you walk out feeling older because of how long you’ve been in. That feeling is because you are losing time.

This seems very confusing, no? Let me put this in laymen’s terms.

When you go somewhere with a long wait and you feel older, that’s me, taking your time. There are people, like me, who create different situations and places that make you wait forever to steal your time.

We scam you of your time and you just let us do it. Because you never see it coming.

Sure, we steal maybe a few minutes of it, at most an hour. However, we steal many people’s minutes and that shit adds up. From a single day at the dmv, someone can steal five years, if they do it correctly.

For me, I run most roller coaster lines. The trick that I’ve learned about over the years is to always make them have most thrill or loops. That draws most crowds in.

And what do we do with your time, you may ask. We give ourselves your time. Its simple; we take your time, we make ourselves younger.

You see me and you would think I am twenty two. Add a zero to the end and you get close.

We are the modern day vampires, taking time we see fit. If you are willing to waste time, there’s no reason we can’t have it.

Being a time scammer has its perks, one being that I know when my time is being taken. I know these scams, I basically started it. But being old has its downsides. Like getting a fucking license.

For the past fifty years, I’ve been able to avoid the dmv, taking the test and getting my photo taken in my home. However, apparently you can’t do that with the real id.

So here I am, feeling the time roll of me to Jerry. Jerry, the worst man I have ever met in the game. You know dmvs, Jerry is the reason they are so slow. He slows down every process by not having working computers.

And currently he’s staring me down with the widest fucking grin.

I am never leaving this fucking place.