I had a sudden moment of clarity. These are not my people.

If you looked at this scene, maybe as a passerby, or from a helicopter up above, you wouldn’t think twice. I was at a dinner with my husband and two other couples. All lovely people. And I say that with complete sincerity and not a hint of my usual sarcasm. I cannot emphasize that enough.

It probably should be stated that though introductions might have been made from my husband’s work, I certainly felt comfortable and at ease with this company. I believe that’s why my sudden realization took me by surprise.

We were discussing the topics of the day. Though I lean left politically, I pride myself on being able to have a conversation with anyone and hearing out different opinions. How else do we learn?

Yet, this was more a feeling than any one statement that brought me to my halt. As present company was discussing, no- stating what they believed to be facts about the heated politics of the day, I felt myself become quiet.

I didn’t want to talk anymore. I didn’t want to listen either. I just suddenly wanted to be anywhere else.

And it shook me to my bones.

I was with my husband, who obviously knows me and gets me as well as anyone could. But as I looked around at the other couples, people I genuinely liked and knew to be good, decent humans, I knew that I would not engage further with them, and I would even remove myself from the conversation. No one, of course, would notice. The evening was otherwise unmemorable.

Yet that dinner has always stayed with me. I was shaken by the overwhelming, yet completely unexplainable feeling like a bolt of lightning. It was a completely lovely restaurant, with people I genuinely enjoyed, and I was sad.

We all know it- that release, that aha moment when we meet someone, whether romantically or platonic, and we instantly know they will be in our lives forever. One day will come, you’ll say four words to that person, and they’ll know exactly what you mean.

Your tribe. Your people. They might not look like you, but you recognize them.

And you recognize when it’s not them too.