Life of a lactose intolerant means I am not ashamed of pooping in a public bathroom. With the uncomfortableness of my bowel movements, the passing of gas also occurs. It’s part of the territory. Normally, I am on the dealing end of those toots, except for this time.

_Crap, not again! _“Be right back,” I noted quickly to the table as I stood and took my purse with me. “She’s going to poop,” prompted my sister. “I told you not to eat that queso.” “I told you not to get that hair cut,” I retorted as I walked away.

As I made my into the bathroom, I quickly glanced under the doors of the stalls. Score! No one is here. Grateful to do my business in peace. I picked my stall, put down some paper, and got comfy. Well as comfy as you can get in that situation.

I held my stomach in pain as a bubble of gas bulldozed it’s way though my lower intestine. Wincing in pain, I let the bind break from my cheeks, anticipating the relief. The sound echoed of the walls of the toilet, stall door, and ceiling of the bathroom. I wouldn’t have been surprised if the vibrations were felt throughout the restaurant. I sighed in relief when I finished.

Suddenly, I heard a snickering in the next stall. _Was someone here for that?! _ I thought in a panic. Just then two feet came down and set themselves on the floor in front of the toilet in the stall to my left. Doc Martin boots with a rainbow beaded candi lacing the backs of the boots. My face washed hot as I realized someone had been hiding in the stall right next to mine while I just ripped the craziest fart ever.

“I’m so sorry. I don’t mean to laugh. It’s just I was waiting until you left to do this,” the voice nest to me said. Just then, a thunderous assrip shook through the air. Louder and smellier than mine was. I sat shocked, slowly covering my nose as it became deadly to breathe comfortably in the bathroom now.

“I’m lactose intolerant,” said the voice. “Me , too! I keep baby wipes in my purse just in case something happens in public. Like now, I guess.”

“Could I have a couple?” A hand belonging to the stranger poked sheepishly under the stall door. I admired the rings that adorned the long, strong fingers.

“Sure. Of course,” I reached in my bag for the pack of fresh scented baby wipes and pulled two out of the packaging and handed them to the hand of my companion in the restroom. I finished my business and cleaned up. I checked my outfit and hair before stepping out into the bathroom to wash my hands. I quickly checked my teeth and makeup to see if I needed a touch up. I hadn’t even seen this persons face, I had no reason to primp myself, I don’t know why I did it. I started to lather my hands and singing happy birthday to myself in my head.

The stranger flushed and stepped out of the stall. I glanced up at her in the mirror. She was tall, in a button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, hair in a short style that some would consider boyish, still it suited her look. She walked up to the sink nest to me and began washing her hands, too. I looked over my shoulder to her and gave her a smile. She chuckled as she lathered the soap on her hands.

I finished and took my wet hands to the paper towel dispenser. “I can’t believe I ripped it like that in front of another person. I’ve literally never done that. Not even in front of my ex-girlfriend.” _Suttle, nice. _

She finished and walked over to me at the paper towel dispenser, taking a few to dry her hands. “Same here,” she chuckled again. “I’m Maxine, by the way. I think since we’ve farted in front of each other, we should be on a first name basis.” She put her had out to shake mine, I took her hand.

We looked into each others eyes in that moment. I don’t know if it was because of the smell of the bathroom or if the air between us grew thicker with anticipation. Her eyes were forest green with a slight grey center. She had freckles all over her face, and one dark one on her top lip in the center off to the right side. I realized how intently we were staring at each other when someone else walked into the bathroom. We watched the woman and her daughter come through the door and immediately cover their noses. “Mommy, its stinky in her.”