I’ve always done everything right. I led a good Christian life. I waited until marriage, I was humble, I never held a grudge. Church every Sunday. I only got drunk once.

One time! And in that one little incident where I drank too much alcohol, I hit someone’s car with mine, killing everyone in it and myself.

So I’m supposed to be in Heaven. I’ve led my children to God, as my parents did me. I’ve prayed every night and rarely sinned.

Yet, when my time has come, I open my eyes to a menacing red gate. Two very red demons stand on each side, holding black whips caked in blood.

“This is not Heaven!” I cry, because no way I would be forced to live here after one little mishap.

“No,” the demon on the right side of the gate shifts his grip on the whip, “you must belong here.”

“But-“ I look around for prank cameras or something, anything, to suggest this was fake. “I’m confused. Can you look at my list of sins? It’s very short, really, it is.”

“Quit your stuttering!” Shouts the demon on the left, his red eyes unblinking, “However, we can look at your Deeds.”

With a gesture from Left Demon, Right Demon snaps its fingers and a scroll appears. “Name?”

“Jacob McAllister?”

“Hm. Yes, perhaps this is some misunderstanding… usually people aren’t sent to Hell over getting drunk only once and killing a car full of people…” Righty mutters, “I will take it up with God. Next time an angel comes down, I’ll send word. Now get in there before you get whipped.”

“Wait, when will the-“ but the gates had already closed. I turned around and walked forward tentatively. It was blazing hot, and every single thing was red. Red, red, red red red red RED. Red on red on red. It was a bit of an eyesore, really. There were several people, some covered with whip lashes and most covered in blisters.

I have no idea where to go or what to do. I’m stuck in Hell for who knows how long. I don’t understand why just one thing would send me spiraling into a dark path.

I wished that the angel would come quicker.

Over the next few days, (I think, there wasn’t much indicators of time. Maybe time didn’t even work the same…) I mainly focused on staying out of sight and out of trouble. Every few days or so, Satan himself comes to punish whoever for stupid reasons. Breathing too loud, looking away from the people who were punished, bad posture. I make a friend, Samuel, who makes Hell a bit more tolerable.

Finally, an announcement is… announced, and it tells us that there’s finally an angel coming down here for us.

It’s about time.

I head to the Gate (which was hard to find, mind you). There’s so many people here, but we finally form a single file line. One by one, people are rejected or blessed. The blessed stand in a corner, waiting for who knows what.

Finally it’s my turn.

“Name?” The angel asks, smiling at me.

“Jacob McAllister.”

“Ah, yes.” The angel frowns so slightly I wonder if I’m imagining it. “Complicated record.”

With no other details provided, I have to stand awkwardly as the angel clutches his hands and looks at me intently.

Then he smiles and claps once. “You’re free to pass!”

I breath a sigh of relief and jog to the people in the corner by the Gate. Samuel is next.

A few words between him and the angel. Then he looks defeated, so defeated, and turns. He looks over his shoulder at me and salutes.

No- what? I can’t leave Samuel. He’s been so, so nice to me. He doesn’t deserve Hell- not with Satan and his cruel and unusual punishments (like having people’s eye tick forever. I mean, seriously?).

“Wait!” I yell, running past the angel and hopeful people. “I want to stay.”

Disclaimer: I’m atheist, so if the details are wrong I’m so sorry, I’ve never read the Bible.