"Get down from there right this second, you sh*t head!"

The Pirate looked down. Mr. Jeffries was right below him at the base of the ladder. This was not going according to plan.

"What are you doing up there?" Jeffries barked. It really was a question but the Pirate knew what he was actually saying was "you had better not be be messing with our mascot or I am going to kicking your ass into next week!"

The Pirate pondered his options. Here he was, 25 feet up a somewhat unstable ladder. The Leprechaun had been holding the ladder. He had obviously bolted at the first sign of trouble. It was a fair solution, the Pirate realized. The gym was dark and a student loitering at the base of the ladder in a dark gym was much more suspicious and sure to catch the attention of any of the staff than his position in the shadowsat the top of the ladder. That did little to help him now. His left hand was securely attached to the Devil Dog as his right hook had deftly loosened the right bolt. He was midway through a bit of the old in and out and there was no easy withdrawal from this scenario.

"Mr. Jeffries, I can't. I need to finish this."

"Tyler, get your f*cking ass down this ladder, NOW!" Jeffries commanded.

The Pirate contemplated. Then he let the left mount of the Devil Dog go. It immediatelt swung down, the remaining bolt popped loose, and the Dog began its long plummet to the gym floor.

Jeffries jumped back from the shattering mascot and in turn unintentionally bumped the ladder. The Pirate was not afraid of heights. You don't spend time at sea without scaling into a few stomach lurching locations without even thinking about it. But as the top of the ladder began to move along the wall, the Pirate realized that the stability of his perch was about to go sideways. In fact his whole situation was totally f*cked sideways. Why did that keep coming up? Why was he always putting himself where he was totally f*cked sideways? His hook hand shot down for balance as his left hand scrabbled for anything that would keep him up. Then the ladder slid down the wall with the Pirate on top at increasing speed. Like the Devil Dog exploding into pieces on the gym floor below him, this landing was not going to go well.

In truth he landed better than he expected. He was still alive. That was better than he could say for the Dog. That bitch was never going back up on that wall. But as they strapped him in and hoisted him up into the back of the ambulance, the Pirate realized that it really was a stupid plan and that his life had suddenly taken a really aback turn