Not My Body; Not My People

I don’t know what it was that awoke me that night. Perhaps it was the sound of unfamiliar whispers outside the tent, or maybe it was that eerie, unsettling feeling that something was so very wrong.


I roll over in the sleeping bag, the thick fabric hugging me in a suffocating embrace. My fingers fumble for the zipper on the side of the bag, and when I finally find it, sweat damp fingers gripping the zip, I pull it down forcefully. The cool air that rushes in is rewarding and I sigh, glad that I had opted for shorts and a t-shirt for bed. I sit up, eyes trying to adjust to the darkness of the tent. I look around the spacious area, expecting to see the sleeping forms of my mother, father, and younger sister beside me. However, to my surprise, I am met with three rumpled sleeping bags devoid of their sleeping bodies.


I sit there for a moment, trying to decide whether I should be worried or not. Where could they be? Judging by the dark sky visible through the mesh roof of the tent, its still the middle of the night and far too late to do anything out there in the forest.


Again, before I can allow worry to seep into my mind, the voices outside return and I am reminded of what woke me up in the first place. The voices are unfamiliar, and I can’t make out what they are saying but judging by the shuffling of feet just outside the tent, they must be close by. My heart thrums in my chest, anxious and fearful as I crawl towards the entrance of the tent, prepared to face whoever it is that lurks outside. Are they dangerous? Could they have dragged my family outside of the tent without me noticing and murdered them in their sleep?


I sit there on my knees before the tent entrance, debating whether or not it was safer to stay in the tent and fall back asleep, or to venture outside and find out what happened to the rest of my family. Finally, though not by the motivation of bravery, but curiosity, I finally decid to unzip the tent entrance and exit the safety of the canvas confines.


Immediately upon exiting the tent I am met with a blanket of darkness softened only by the LED lantern that sits atop the wooden picnic table outside the tent. My eyes sweep the campsite, looking for the people I heard whispering. Finally, I see the three of them, huddled in a circle. Their backs are turned to me as they all peer at a lit-up phone nestled between the group but judging by the back of their pyjama clad bodies, they must be my family. The woman, tall and thin, has short hair and nestled between her and a man a head taller than her, is a short girl with long braided hair. That must be my parents and my younger sister Victoria. What were they doing outside the tent so late, and why hadn’t they woken me up? I stumble towards them, legs still wobbly from sleep.


When I get to them, I place a hand on the older womans shoulder.


“Hey mom, what are you all doing up so late”, I mumble, my voice raspy from sleep.


The woman turns around slowly and I expect to see my mothers rounded face and soft brown eyes, but what I see is anything but that. The woman that looks down at me has sharp angular features and unfamiliar light eyes. She smiles at me warmly and sweeps a hand across my cheek.


“Hey sleepyhead, we tried to wake you up, but you sleep like a hibernating bear”, she says with a laugh. The man beside her and the young girl turn to face me and my heart stutters in my chest as take in their unfamiliar faces. The little girl, with a face that is much wider and features much larger than my own sisters, runs to my side. She grips my arm tightly and squeezes.


“There’s suppose to be a meteor shower tonight! We are going to stay up and watch it; why don’t you join us”, she says excitedly, pudgy cheeks pink.


I shake out of her grasp, my heart hammering harder in my chest as I look from face to face. Who are these people? Why are they acting like the recognize me? Where’s my family, and what the hell is going on here?


I step backwards hesitantly, the gritty sand beneath my feet digging into my soles.


“Who….who the hell are you guys?”, I mumble, the hairs on the back of my neck prickling my skin. Concern flitters across their faces and the man steps forward, holding out a hand. His face in particular is etched with worry and his brow crinkles as he watches me back away.


“Son, is everything alright? Its us”, he says. He continues, pointing to everyone as he introduces them, “your mom, your dad, and your sister Amelia”.


I frown, my hands fisting my t-shirt as I try to make sense of the situation. Non of these people, not even the name of the little girl seems familiar at all.


“N-no. I don’t know who you are. Where’s my family?”, I say, my voice rising in hysteria. The man and woman look to one another, a silent exchange passing between them.


“Sam, is everything alright? Maybe you had a bad dream or something and need to go back to bed. Here, let me help you”, the older woman- who claims to be my mother- says. She reaches out a hand and softly grabs my upper arm in an attempt to guide me back to the tent. I shake out of her grasp and hold out my hands.


“Let go of me!”, I screech, fear searing my senses. I whip my head back and forth between the two strangers. ‘Please let this all be a bad dream’, I think as tears sting my eyes.


“My name isn’t Sam”, I say, and my voice trembles as I speak, “My name is Jack. Jack Lowes”.


The woman shakes her head and I notice that her eyes are glistening with unshed tears.


“No, honey. Your name is Samuel Derricks. Don’t you remember?”


I ignore her words and make my way to the picnic table. I sit on the bench, my head swirling with thoughts as I try to make sense of the situation. I clutch my head in my hands for a while, and when I lift my head, my gaze catches on the reflective base of the LED lamp.


The face looking back at me has bright red curls, a face covered in millions of tiny freckles, and wide green eyes. I blink and the face blinks back at me; I cock my head to the side, and it does the same.


A scream rips from my throat as I back away from the lantern. My foot catches on the leg of the bench as I try to escape and stumble before catching myself.


Who was that in the reflection? That wasn’t me, was it? I had my father’s dark hair and eyes, nothing at all similar to the red curls and green irises that replicated my movements. I hold my arms out in front of me, taking in the too pale skin and freckles. Another scream escapes me, and I whirl around to face the three people I met earlier.


“Whose body is this? What is going on? Would someone tell me what the fu-“, the man steps forward, cutting me off with a raised hand.


“Calm down, Sam. You aren’t feeling well”, he says. They all look at me with a mix of bewilderment and concern, as though I have truly gone mad.


The little girl leans in to whisper something to her mother who bends down to hear her. Though she is trying to whisper quietly, I catch her words.


“Mom is Sam having another episode?”, she asks quietly.


I focus on her words, eyes glued to the pair as I try to understand the meaning behind her words. Another episode? What does that mean?


I turn to face the father but see he has disappeared, I’m about to scream bloody murder again when I feel a hand rest on my shoulder. Warm breath fans over my neck and I don’t have to turn around to know the father is now behind me.


I try to wriggle out of his grasp, but his hand is strong on my shoulder.


“Hey. Let…go…of…me”, I say, my voice strained as I try to pull away. He leans down and whispers something in my ear, his voice calm and effortless despite the fight I am putting up.


“Shhh, calm down Sammy. Everything will be alright. When you wake up again, you’ll be back to normal”


When I wake up again? What was he talking ab-?


My thoughts are paused in their tracks as a sharp pinching sensation nips at my neck. Out of the corner of my eye, I catch sight of an empty syringe in the man’s hand as he pulls away from my neck.


My heavy tongue yearns to ask more questions, to protest or to scream again, but non of that happens because in that moment the world turns black, and I lose consciousness.

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