Pants On Fire

Emma’s phone buzzes once again, illuminating the bedroom. The sudden burst of light consumes my view. She snatches the phone from the dresser and clutches it tightly to her chest, giggling slightly. I peer at her under the covers, trying to snatch a glimpse.

“What is that?” I ask her calmly. She pulls the phone down, locking her screen with a click. She offers no response and snuggles beneath my shoulder. I reluctantly let her crawl back in, ignoring her little secretive message.

I sink back down into my pillow, shutting my eyes at long last. I hear wailing next door and so I’m pulled out of bed for the fourth time this evening. I make my way into the baby’s room, stepping on at least 3 stuffed animals as I try to navigate to the crib.

Baby Charlotte giggles at me, spitting in my direction. I wrap my arms around her, pulling her from the crib. She giggles once more, hitting me on the nose with her small hand.

I rock her back and forth gently, soothing her down within a few minutes. Soon she lays asleep in my arms, holding onto my thumb with two of her fingers. I peel her off softly and gently lie her back down.

I make my way out of the room and walk back to bed. I catch Emma laughing at her phone once again. Her phone flashes as she takes a picture of herself. I give her a quizzical look, trying to make my displeasure more obvious.

Things like this keep happening more and more often and yet she never has any explanation. Emma always just blames me for trying to start something when I’m just worried that something is going on with her.

I trust her wholeheartedly but something seems off. I crawl back under the covers, the bed groans at me with the additional weight. Emma scoffs next to me and I don’t even need to hear her to know what she’s thinking.

I’m too fat, too ugly, too different from what I used to be. Her eyes no longer light up when she sees me, my presence doesn’t make her smile. Our worlds are more separate then they ever have been before.

But, I still love her and I know she loves me too. There is nothing that could possibly come between us.

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