I don’t like losing. I never have. I’ve always been a sore loser. Playing games as a kid, playing games as an adult, I never want to lose. So when Jason told me I’d lost him to another woman, it was never going to end well.

So here I am, in a dark alley, watching a petit, blonde woman walk towards a car. Her name is Ashley, she’s 28 and she drives a white 2011 Vauxhall Corsa. I didn’t know that information already, the stuff about the car; but she just got into the drivers seat, so i’ll make the assumption.

I do, however, already know that she has a daughter, two cats, two goldfish and she lives with her sister, who is currently going through a divorce. Her sister is called Josie and her daughter is called Melody. And, i know exactly where they live.

It’s time for Jason to learn that I never lose.