‘Okay, great, I just pulled into the parking lot. Damn, I’m thirty minutes early. Too early, I’ll look eager.’

Stepper looks at his watch.

‘I’ll review my notes on this place.’ Stepper starts to read through the company’s history, again.

someone knocks on his window. It’s a beautiful woman.

‘Sir, can you help me? My car died, and it’s in the middle of the road. Can you push it to the side for me, while I steer it?’ She says, blinking her eyes, looking hopeless and helpless, everything a man needs to tell himself ‘sure.’

Stepper steps out of the car, and walks over to the vehicle. He checks his watch. 25 minutes before the interview.

He checks the normal guy stuff, to look like a knowledgeable hero. Engine? Looks okay. Underneath, no leaking. He shakes his head.

‘Did you call anyone?’ Stepper eagerly asks.

‘Ummm, of course, but it may take a little while, and it’s in such a bad spot.’ She looks at him, a little scared he won’t help.

‘Okay, I’m not sure what’s going on with this car, but I’ll push, and you’ll just steer it over there, yeah?’ As he points to a grassy spot on the side of the road, before it goes downhill.

‘Yes! Thank you!’ The woman says, gratefully.

As Stepper starts to push, the oddest thing happens. A flock of birds start flying out of the woods. They swirl in the air for a minute, gather their flock, and fly over the car, as he pushes. Strangely, at that exact moment, they all pooped at the same time. The exact same time. The car, the road, and most importantly, Stepper, all are hit with the defecation. The white car now looks like a Dalmatian, and Stepper is full of bird shit.

‘What the f…!!!’ Stepper screams, looking at his new suit.

The woman steps out of the car and looks at him in amazement.

‘I have something in the back that might help.’ She hurriedly opens the back door, grabs a roll of paper towels, and Stepper rushes over.

The woman starts to speak, but he can’t hear her words over his thoughts of panic.

As Stepper cleans himself quickly, out of the corner of his eye, he sees a clown walk out of the woods, right where the birds flew from. Absolute confusion and amazement set in. Stepper stops wiping the shit off of himself for a moment.

The clown has a big blue suit on, with a huge red smile, and a little yellow hat. He’s holding some kind of pie. He walks right up to Stepper and the woman. Without a word, the clown throws the pie right into Stepper’s face. Stepper is in shock. He starts to wipe off the pie from his face while swearing. As he yells, the clown handcuffs his hands and pushes Stepper into the backseat of the car, shoves his feet in, and slams the door.

The woman reacts quickly, and seemingly, puts down the emergency break. The clown pushes the car, and the woman slams the door shut while it starts rolling down the hill.

‘Will he be okay?’ The woman asks the clown.

‘What do you care…but yeah, he’ll be fine’ says the clown. ‘See that little stream right there at the bottom, where the road curves? The car will get stuck, and there ain’t no way he’ll get out of the car without getting soaked and muddy.’ He looks at his watch, ‘Aren’t you goin’ be late for your interview?’

The woman looks at her watch. ‘Forty minutes to kill’ she says, pats the clown on the shoulder, and starts walking to the parking lot. ‘I’ll call you later.’

The clown walks in the other direction, away from the woman, away from the man.

As Lisa sits in the waiting room for her interview, in comes Stepper. Handcuffed, shat on, full of mud, water, and pie, he’s frantic. The receptionist looks at him in awe.

‘Can, can I help you, oh my, what happened…” Stepper starts to tell the receptionist the story. She calls the cops.

Lisa hides herself behind the water cooler, knowing this moment might happen.

‘Lisa Smith’ her name is called. She stands up and smiles and shakes the woman’s hand.

Stepper sees her walk into an office, and he starts yelling ‘it was her, it was her, she set me up!’ But, his story is so bizarre, no one believes him. Shit bird.