To a close friend,

We were unstoppable, really. I miss those days when we were together and cared about absolutely nothing but our continuous joy. Where there was our silence, there was the ever promised beating of our hearts in sync.

Needless to say, you are always the same as the last time I’ve seen you, you always look at me the same. And I don’t know if we see the same eyes in ourselves as we did two years ago. Perhaps we’ve matured. It is certainly something true that we’ve grown closer, and I think after we met there was no separating the two of us.

But when you did move, I cried. I wanted to hug you more than I did and tell you we would always be friends. I couldn’t bring myself to be sentimental, so I’m sorry if it seemed like I was taking this lightly.

God it felt awful knowing you were gone. I felt a part of me was gone. That’s often what people say about lovers, but then we weren’t of such a relationship we’re we?

Somehow we got closer even with miles between each other. You were someone I could confide in, and to be honest that was something I never had with a friend. We spoke of such absurd and abstract ideas of our own fantasies that surely both of us must be mad, or perhaps just inventive. I wish I could have helped you more, you need it more than once did. You deserve everything you could possibly have the want for, and I would give it all to you.

When you told me you loved me, you weren’t there to say it to me. Maybe if you were here I wouldn’t have been such and idiot to turn you down. I tried to say yes, but I just couldn’t. I want to love you right beside me. It would tear me apart to know that I couldn’t see your face to tell you I loved you. I think maybe I do love you, but I don’t know how to feel about it.

I think what I’m trying to say is that we should be in love together, just maybe now is not the right time. I think we’re soulmates really, that’s not me trying to be poetic.

I’m sorry that we’re so far apart and that you feel distant. I’m sorry that I can’t tell you how I feel either. I feel shamefully petty and vain about my love, it’s always been that way. You don’t have to hold on to this place, just please hold on to me.

With Compassion,

Yours Always