I went to college without my mother. She took her life when I was sixteen. Before that we made music together. Despite her depression she encouraged me. In return I mothered her.

You could say we were symbiotic , meaning we fed off of each other. It was as though we were each other. In this painful relationship

I succeeded in music while she played the piano.

The summer before she died, i was chosen to be a soloist for a Rodgers and Hammerstein production I was one of three soloists and sang in front of one thousand people. I was

sheer nerves about performing. However, my mother told me I could do it! The night I performed, she helped me bathe, and she soothed me. To have my mother beside me, is beyond what I can express.

My father remarried a woman who had been married five times, To my disbelief she gave away my childhood treasures. By the time I got to college, I had lost the resilient girl i had been. The world was sad and bereft for me. I had to stuff my grief inside. I had to smile my ‘dimples smile’ while I cried inside. .

One thing I thought I could do to find myself was sing. Despite stage fright, I came around on stage, i blossomed and sang my heart out as a young Songbird. The university was having tryouts for students to entertain before Chris Kristofferson performed. I decided to try out.

I chose a song and practiced, but when i sang before the judges, my voice betrayed me, The songbird had died. Mother wasn’t there.

Since then, I have taken millions of steps forward. I lived through embarrassing myself with a hopeless tryout.

Since then, I have learned to find the treasures that abound. But believe me when I say, a songbird’s death is not easy.

You have to work to fly free and sing again

i have hurried my stories. I am going to cut back and strive to perfect them