I’ve dated these people before.

The studio lights shine on familiar smiles and I feel my own drop.

‘Dating show with a twist’ rings in my head.

The host, smiles too. “I bet you weren’t expecting this, Andrea! Let’s find your best ex!”

A theme song strums and the host, Gary, walks over to the first man, who looks just as surprised as me. “Andrea, remember Ryan? You dated for six months in 2017, and broke it off because he was texting your best friend!”

The audience breaks off into boos.

“Ryan says he’s a changed man after his mother passed in 2020… will you give him another chance?”

The audience starts shouting nonsense I can’t make out, and I can’t help but dread who is sitting in the other seats…