This is what I have been waiting for my entire life. The fate of my future is decided today.

These thoughts rush through my brain, one after the other after the other. My heart beating, on and off but almost always on. It’s raining today, great. My perfectly slicked back bun poofs with frizz, needing additional attention when I sit in the cold plastic chair in front of the mirror with those terrible yellow flourescent lights that make you look like a ghost.

I look at myself, I lift my lips just slightly. I’m proud of myself. I got myself here, no one else did but me.

I gather my necessities, and head back stage behind the curtains and wrap the silky laces around my ankles. As I’m rolling the ends and placing them underneath the top lace, I envision my first time. I was so young, but the graceful music, powerful strength of my feet and legs, the intense feelings of determination, were enough to make me addicted.

I have completed hundreds of classes through my years, but this is the only class that matters. Hundreds. But only one that decides who I will become. What my future holds.

My stomach feels like it could fall out of my butt, and my throat has fallen through my esophagus, bypassed my lungs and landed right in my gut. I think I could vomit.

I am on stage left ready to give the performance of my life. I fucking got this. I peep my left toe slightly past the velvet red curtain and leap into my fate.