I was going home…driving in my Nissan…then I got the text:

“Don’t go home tonight.”

My heart skipped a beat when I read it. It was as if the world had frozen. My hands got sweaty and my face went cold. I didn’t know the number. I didn’t even have anyone close to me to get my number… except my brother,but he doesn’t have a phone. He’s only eight. Alone. At home.

“I have to get home. I can’t leave him alone. Not for this long.”

That was what I thought. I wish I never had gone home that night.

I sped home. I wish I would’ve gotten a ticket or something. I could’ve avoided this. But I suppose it was inevitable.

I pulled into the driveway. Jumping out of my car and running inside,holding my pistol.

“Just in case…” was my reasoning. I was a stupid teenager. Only Seventeen.

I quietly went inside. Sneaking and listening. That’s when my little brother walked out of a closet…I still don’t know why,it’s a blur,a very vivid blur… I shot. I pulled the trigger out of panic. It hit him in the chest…the worst part was he didn’t die immediately. As soon as I realized what I’d done,I called the police and tried to help him. I’d never seen such fear,uncertainty,and helplessness in his eyes since our parents died. I kept saying,“I’m sorry! I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to,Lukas! I love you so much…”

His last words..his last words still tear me apart worse than the guilt. His last words:

“Sissy,I love you forever….but why did you do this…?”

[unintelligible mumbles and crying]

I never meant to… I didn’t… I hate myself for it. Our carpet..is still bloodstained. With the blood of my little brother. The one thing that mattered in my life. He’s gone because of me… I am the only thing I can control in this life and I did that…. I killed my little brother…