I dragged a squeaky highlighter across my calendar, eyes focused and ears alert. A slow smile formed on my face as I listened to the new neighbors talk. They were planning a vacation to the Bahamas. Classy.

I scanned the list I’d copied with eager eyes, trying to see if I’d missed anything. They were leaving a key with another neighbor, (one who’s house I’d frequently gained access to) they’d be gone for a full fortnight , (perfect) and they, as I had newly learned, were leaving their valuables under a loose floorboard.

I leaned back and cracked my knuckles, chewing the tip of my pencil as I pondered my next move. All I really had to do was sneak in the other neighbor’s house, swipe the key, and I was rich.

The last couple had moved out due to a strange set of occurrences in the building. Lights would randomly cut off, phone lines would go down, the water would shut off…..definitely didn’t have anything to do with me.

Come midnight I was creeping along the dim hallway, knife ready and key in hand. I had to protect myself; these homeowners could be scary sometimes.

I stopped occasionally when I heard noises in the building, and finally I was outside of the apartment suite, key in hand. Now the fun began. I used my expertise in the field to slink around the apartment without so much as creasing the rug.

By noon the next day I was on my way to Las Vegas, five thousand dollars richer and the proud owner of a new car. What can I say? They left their keys too.