Thank you.

For messing up. For making those mistakes. For leaving me in the pit of snakes.

Thank you.

For criticizing everything I did. Everything I wore. Everything I was.

The morning judgments before I left the house. The rigid routines that wouldn’t let me out.

The silence I sat in because, “that show makes me cry”. The bland food I ate because, “my stomach can’t take their fries”.

The long dark days in bed when we wouldn’t move. The long dark nights drowning in booze.

You never bought me gifts, you said you weren’t good at it.

You never tried to things, you always said “what if..?”.

You always worked late because the work “had to get done”

You always said no when invited to travel somewhere fun.

You never opened up, never told me how you really felt.

You always expected me to give up my body, before you I knelt.

Forgotten and ignored

used and broken

worthless and bored

a diseased token

Thank you, but I’m done.

I have learned my self worth and you don’t have a say

I have learned to take each week day by day

I know who I am and who I want to be

I know how to learn and grow, to read and be free

I don’t need you talking me through every minute of every day.

I need you to stay very far away.

I know we were close, and you’ve taught me a lot

But tonight I say thank you, now go on, get got.

-Letter to the version of me that no longer suits my needs