of course he had to be here. him of all people. to see me like this. he walked over to my curled up, shaking figure and sat next to me.

“well? whats going on? the whole party is out there and you’re in here, crying like some child.”

i looked up at him, fear on my face. not from him, but what was happening. was i seriously letting myself have a panic attack in front of my enemy? i bowed my head, laying it in my knees, hiding my tear filled eyes and quivering lip. there was silence for a bit. nothing. then i heard him sigh and shuffling. his warm hand landed on my shoulder, his thumb rubbing it gently. i looked up at him, through my tears, and before i knew it, i was clinging to him, almost if i was dying. he let out a soft huff of surprise then quickly wrapped his arms around my shaking body, pulling me onto his lap.

“deep breaths yeah? match mine ok?”

i nodded. he instructed me, very patiently.

“breathe in,” i followed, “and out…”

i clung to him tighter, causing his arms to tighten. he started rubbing my back, drawing random shapes on my skin to calm me. he slowly rocked me. i didn’t believe that i was crying in my enemies arms.

“y’know, your tears kill me. i’ll do anything in my power to make them stop. it hurts me when you cry. it means i wasn’t there to protect you. im supposed to protect you.”

i started to say his name but he cut me off.

“you’re mine to protect. and you know where my dorm is. in case this happens again.”

he lifted my chin, rubbing away my tears.

“thank you,” i said, my voice a bit dry from crying, “for…staying.”

i hugged him again. it genuinely hurt me, thinking that i would have to leave this. leave this moment behind. my friend turned the corner, and found me on the ground.

“whats wrong? why are you out here alone?”

he’s not real. he never was real. i was alone.