Can you feel it?

Can you feel the tears streaming down my face as my head is on your shoulders

Can you feel my whole body tensing up

Can you feel my hands starting to sweat underneath the comfort of your palm

Can you feel my breaths getting faster and faster

Can you feel it?

Can you feel how hard I’m trying to not cry?

I feel like it’s obvious

I can imagine the whole room can hear my heart beating out of my chest

That you can feel me breaking down inside

From the flashbacks going through my mind

And for a second I wonder what would happen if I broke

If I allowed my emotions to show

What would it feel like?

You might squeeze my hand tighter

Give me an extra long goodbye hug

Maybe even give me some comforting words

But I can’t

I can’t let myself go

I can’t let you see how much I’m hurting

I can’t

And I’m sorry

I’m sorry for the both of us

Because I know I deserve the love that you would show me

I know I’m pushing you away by not opening up

But I just can’t

I’m sitting here

Holding back tears with your hand in mine

Wondering if you can feel the emotions soaring through my body

Wondering

Wondering

Wondering

Can you feel it too?