Was it the fedora?

I knew something was different about him even from a distance, but I couldn’t place it. Obviously the feelings were different and the situation. Last time I saw him I wasn’t hiding behind a bush for one. But it was something more, something deeper. It could just be the fedora though, where and why did he even find that?

As he approached, I could see his face. It was calm, in fact, he was whistling. Whistling? The man who broke my heart has the gall to be walking through a park whistling while wearing a fedora? I stopped thinking about the strange sensation for a moment to just feel anger. Mixed with embarrassment for ever being in love with this thing.

There was something else though. His hair was black. Definitely jet black, I could see it from underneath the fedora. It used to be a dark brown, but I could tell it was black now. He might have been a lot of things, but he was never someone who would dye his hair. In fact, he was never someone who whistled or wore ugly hats either.

Feeling a sense of something not being quite right, I saw him pass and continue walking on another path. I had to get out from behind the safety of my bush to see where he was going. Do I dare risk it?, I thought, as I already was taking a few steps toward him. I guess so then.

He kept walking for another few minutes, still whistling loud enough for me to hear him from quite a distance. It seemed like he was increasing in volume if anything. This wasn’t like him at all.

I started to feel super uncomfortable. I picked up a rock, just in case I needed to cause a distraction in case things didn’t go right. And if my former lover got hit by that distraction, where’s the harm in that? My former lover who has decided to change his whole appearance and everything about him and seemingly his entire personality to become someone he never was before. My former lover who is someone who would not have expected him to become, someone who I don’t think I could recognize and definitely wouldn’t want to know if I met him now, someone who can just move on and walk through a park and whistle and not even think about the pain that he has caused someone who cared about him more than anyone else in the world, someone who lied about his love when he said he would love me forever, someone who said he would die for me, someone who-

All of a sudden, he turned around and looked right at me. I jumped and raised the rock, ready to throw, but as he looked at me, he showed no recognition. It was like I made no impression at all.

Then it hit me. He seemed so different because he was different, literally this was a different person. I can’t believe this is happening again. I need to talk to my doctor to increase my medication I guess, I can’t keep seeing things like this. Who knows what I’ll do next time, I thought, as I dropped the rock.