Longing

Where am I? My head is always spinning…trying to figure out where I belong. Is it in the mountains where the cool, clean air of the plateaus in spring cleanse my soul? Is it down below the high level of thousands where the water goes on for miles? Maybe it’s where the trees, rivers, and hills cover every aspect of land the eye can see. Maybe it’s no where but everywhere, seeing all there is to see day in and day out, driving through different terrains. Some days I think it isn’t a place but a what…what if? What if I went down this path of knowledge over that one? Where would I be now? Would I be happy? Sad? Angry? I already am all of those and more. I want to get up and go…no I need to go, but it will never happen. Invisible strings…no…chains is more like it, they hold me in place. I want to go somewhere away from home, maybe find a place I belong. How does one do that? Especially when the place I want to belong does not want me? Honestly it does not matter where I go because I will always think the same of each place. “I never belonged here anyway”