Each step i take the tighter my chest goes , it is like a snake suffocating the life out of me but i must continue, stepping over rocks on this warn out path , that's a run-way for the wind as it whips past me shooting ice arrows through my body.

I am not cut out for this but i must prove to the other mothers i am much more than a stay at home mom, i live on the edge and take risks!

Another shot of arrows is plunging down the mountain freezing me mid stride , why didn't i start with a smaller mountain ?

WHY!

what i will give right now to be back in my own home in my dressing gown and slippers , eaten up by my arm chair watching some good old T.V.

you would think the view would make it worth it, i am surrounded by a white cloud , a blank canvas - i try not to think of it much as claustrophobic will kick in and that's all i need !

so all i can see is this dirty old path and old droppings from a sheep - that's what the countryside smells like to me.

The smiles and comments from the other climbers who have already made it to the top and now are walking back home , lucky devils.

they say " keep going your half way there!"

i wouldn't mind but i have been half way there for the past two hours so am i stuck in a loop to keep rewalking this same path? it would explain a lot , like I'm sure i have seen that shrivelled up dead bush before...

what would i say to my daughter ???

" sorry mommy is stuck in a constant loop to walk this same bit of path for the rest of my life"

even my 5 year old will think that i have gone mad, well that's what no air does to you.

"Good afternoon , is this your first time?" said a chipper man, by the look of him this was not his first rodeo , head to toe in the climbing gear , he had on a hat with a bobble on that was bigger than his head !

i guess it works as a helmet if he catches his foot on a stupid rock.

he uses his poles (skies poles i would call them but there is no snow , so is he expecting snow? I hope not that would just be the icing on the cake !)

He catches up with me .

" good afternoon" i puff and try and do a kind smile but i think its just a plea for help.

" Don't worry your..."

"half way their yes i have been told but i feel like i have been walking this mountain for years!" i exaggerate waving my hands around hoping that it could move some of the clouds , no luck.

the man laughs and strokes his grey beard

" Newbie , we can always spot you a mile off , you have this aura that surrounds you."

i laugh , well it sounds more like a cough at this point.

" how many times have you climbed this one?" i say trying to match his pace.

" this will be my 10th time on this one!" he says proudly as he lifts his head a little higher

you see the question i really want to ask right now is WHY ?WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? ?

but what i really said is

" wow that's incredible!" i hope sarcasm is not heard.

"ha its better when the clouds have gone but that's nature for you , no two days are the same , every time i come up here i see something new." he rattles on you can feel the passion he has for climbing just from that sentence .

i look around again trying to feel what he feels looking at the smaller bushes , that are dotted around on the uneven grass that has been flattened by the wind.

i look at the couple who are just ahead of use , laughing every minute of it.

i try to soak it all in , just for a second i begin to feel the joy , the pride of getting so far , that's when the mountain had other plans the wind does a battle cry as it runs at me - howling for people to move out of his path so i can get the full power of the mountain .

its like the mountain is trying to stop me reaching the top.

"look there is the top just a few more steps!" the man eyes sparkle as he looks ahead , like a child in a sweet shop.

he done this many times before but he still has the child face and that bubble of excitement to reach the top , to be honest I'm feeling something like that or it could just be relief , i hope there is a lift down , if not i think this kind man may have to carry me down , or this will be my new home .

to tell you the truth the top is nice , its quite open , mounds of grass that's grown around the rocks , then their is this small wooden cabin , placed off centre

where most of the walkers aim for like moths to a flame. i joined in

" what in there?" i turn to the man who looks to be listening to the tunes in his head.

" UH HM?" wide eyed and a apologetic smile

" what's in the cabin?" i repeat slowly pointing my red frozen hand in the direction it stud.

" some where you can have a nice up of tea and put your feet up before the journey home"" his gaze was now fixed on the cabin i was enjoying that sentence till he said " journey home" is there no shuttle bus , lift , plane , portal , anything?

" after you " the man pulls open the door and stands to the side to let me in.

the room is full of tables and chairs and knakered walkers chatting away hugging their mug of tea.

i sit at the first table i find , which is placed beside the window to watch other walkers fight against the wind , their faces light up when they see the hut b.

" tea or coffee?" the kind man stands behind the chair in front of me

" i myself will have a nice warm cup of tea " he continues

" make that for two please"

this part isn't so bad after all , i did it! and i still have all my limbs , for now who knows how long it takes for frost bite to kick in but the journey down should be easier , i hope but for now i shall enjoy my hot cup of tea with this kind man.