****

**To live young, wild and free.**

**The mantra of a true college kid.**

**But this kid was afraid, afriad of uncharted territory.**

Culture, tradition and religion. The pinnacles of what I used to

believe was oppression.**

**What is true freedom? In the face of redundant needs and wants that society feeds us and begs us to submit too.**

**I always understood the true nature of rules and regulation but it never feed my need to understand the ****“****Why****”**** to it all.**

**Why should I submit?**

**Why am I wrong for wanting to enjoy myself?**

**Why is my expression of self so offensive to your nature?**

**One thing that was never a first for me was knowing that; I create my rules and regulations.**

**I am a flawful human-being, but I should learn and grow into what is right for me. What nurtures me,**

**With that being said, on an implusive college night, I raged in the distress of my religious ancestors.**

**I gave away to the culture of the party world, willingly too.**

**I always knew I needed to experience the music flowing through my body, the liquor numbing my survival instincts and the Psychadelics taking me to other worlds.**

**That was the life I chose on that eventful night. **

**It was a blur of bodies and the pungent smell of spilt tequila. **

**For some reason I could never get drunk, never feel the liquid courage that everyone spoke about.**

**I folded the truth in to something smooth, something easy to carry and easier to leave behind. **

**No one suspected a thing.**

**Just an innocent Friendship Camp, that I ****“****begrudgingly****”**** had to accept in this the cursed liberal arts program.**

**Once the ruse was over, it was GO time. **

**I****’****m free, free of surveilance, of the judging gaze that I felt silently over my shoulder. I can do the sins of sins. No one will know.**

**It escalated pretty quick, quicker than one might thing.**

**A dance turned into a drink, a drink turned in to a few more, which turned into lines of pure snow and then to intimacy.**

**Touch without care, pleasure without warmth.**

**I have no regrets; Initial feelings never lasted.**

**I****’****m beyond that now, but the thrill, how I loved the thrill. **

**It will last me a lifetime of lessons and an abundance of memories to pull from that excites me away from Stark reality.**

**The lifestyle never lasts, but the feeling is embedded into the the threads of my soul**