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To live young, wild and free.

The mantra of a true college kid.

But this kid was afraid, afriad of uncharted territory.

Culture, tradition and religion. The pinnacles of what I used to

believe was oppression.**

What is true freedom? In the face of redundant needs and wants that society feeds us and begs us to submit too.

I always understood the true nature of rules and regulation but it never feed my need to understand the “Why” to it all.

Why should I submit?

Why am I wrong for wanting to enjoy myself?

Why is my expression of self so offensive to your nature?

One thing that was never a first for me was knowing that; I create my rules and regulations.

I am a flawful human-being, but I should learn and grow into what is right for me. What nurtures me,

With that being said, on an implusive college night, I raged in the distress of my religious ancestors.

I gave away to the culture of the party world, willingly too.

I always knew I needed to experience the music flowing through my body, the liquor numbing my survival instincts and the Psychadelics taking me to other worlds.

**That was the life I chose on that eventful night. **

**It was a blur of bodies and the pungent smell of spilt tequila. **

For some reason I could never get drunk, never feel the liquid courage that everyone spoke about.

**I folded the truth in to something smooth, something easy to carry and easier to leave behind. **

No one suspected a thing.

Just an innocent Friendship Camp, that I “begrudgingly” had to accept in this the cursed liberal arts program.

**Once the ruse was over, it was GO time. **

I**’**m free, free of surveilance, of the judging gaze that I felt silently over my shoulder. I can do the sins of sins. No one will know.

It escalated pretty quick, quicker than one might thing.

A dance turned into a drink, a drink turned in to a few more, which turned into lines of pure snow and then to intimacy.

Touch without care, pleasure without warmth.

I have no regrets; Initial feelings never lasted.

I**’****m beyond that now, but the thrill, how I loved the thrill. **

It will last me a lifetime of lessons and an abundance of memories to pull from that excites me away from Stark reality.

The lifestyle never lasts, but the feeling is embedded into the the threads of my soul