Forever would still have been too soon to lose you. I wasn’t ready for you to leave, but then again, I never would have been.

I remember your soulful brown eyes staring up at me with all the love in the world, your little puppy tail sweeping back and forth along the ugly kitchen floor. The day you ran off at the park and found the drainage ditch. You came back covered in mud leading a pack of other dogs with that dopey grin of yours, tongue lolling. I remember the day I threw the ball and you looked, but didn’t go after it.

That was the day I knew something was wrong. Not long after we found out you’d be leaving soon. We had a brief glimmer of hope that we would have more time with you, but it wasn’t to be. My best friend.

I grew up with you. Learned how to be an adult. You taught me the meaning of unconditional love, responsibility, how to let go and have fun. How to enjoy the moment as you’d set your head on my shoulder when we hugged and I could just feel all the anxiety, tension, sadness just melt away. I miss your squeals when we got back home from a trip. You just couldn’t hold them in. I’m so happy for the time we had and that you’re no longer in pain.

It’s just so hard without you. I hope you know how much we loved you. How much we would have given up to spend just a little more time with you, my fuzz ball. You got to pick the gender of our baby and I like to believe a little piece of you still lives on in her. You would have loved her so, so much. As I sit with her now and look at her, thinking of you, I’m so grateful for you and so heartbroken you had to leave us. It’s been 3 years. Yet, I think about it and it still feels like it was yesterday. We will see you again someday and become a family again, my little boy, who rode home curled up in my lap. I’m sorry you had to leave, but I am so excited for the day we get to see you again.