“Tonight will be our last sunset. You will never see me again,” Luke whispered, his gaze never leaving the setting sun.

If this was it then maybe it was for the best. If Luke was lost maybe I should let him find his own way home. Maybe he doesn’t want to be found.

“If it’s what you want, then fine,” I said, keeping my gaze on the colorful clouds, the setting sun in the background. If he wanted to leave, if he wanted to travel the world then who was I to stop him.

He turned his head his soft grey eyes meeting mine, “Claire, I’m sorry,” his eyes only grew softer as he spoke.

I nodded not wanting to speak, knowing if I would it might ruin everything, “It’s too late for sorry,” I tried to sound cold but his grey eyes always managed to have me in control of my anger.

“Okay, then I’m doing this for you,” his tone was almost hard, but it would never reach what he wanted, not even when he tried.

I rolled my eyes, sighing, “Oh, please save me the lies. . . Your doing this for you.”

Luke sighed, “I really mean it- for you,”he looked at me quickly, his eyes flashing fear. He let his brown hair fall over his eyes, as he stare at his hands.

It was over I couldn’t hold it in. It’s crazy to me to love him but sometimes you love things that you just can’t explain.

“Luke, I can’t take it anymore. Do you know how may times you’ve given up. . .how many times you’ve ran from your past?

I know that yesterday was my fault, I never meant to make you feel that way. I never meant to embarrass you. I’m still learning. I’m just starting to crawl.”

Luke looked down, a tear fell from his cheek, “Claire, I know all that. Do you think want to run? I hate it. I want to try-I want to stay-“

“Then stay.”

He sighed, “It’s not that simple.”

“Your the one that’s making it difficult,” I said before he finished his sentence.

Luke could stay, I would help him. He just needed to stay. He needed to admit he was scared.

At least I could, at least I could say when I needed him. Even if he made my heart break at least I could handle the pain.

“This is hurting me,” I whispered, “I know I’ve let you down but don’t make my mistakes. It hurts in the end, when I realize I’ve let you fall.”

Luke didn’t answer, I could hear his sobs as he tried to control it. I felt my chest tighten I wanted to feel guilty, but I couldn’t force it. He’d brought this on himself.

When the sobbing turned to a more peaceful cry, I spoke.

“I’m sorry. It’s just I need you. I’ll always need you. Maybe you are found. .. I’m sorry if I make you feel lost. I don’t mean to.”

Luke’s eyes met mine, “I need you too,” he wiped his tears away with the back of his hand.

“Then stay,” I whispered, my eyes never leaving his.

Luke let out a shaky breath, “I. . .can’t. I need to find my way. Even if it’s you I need, I still need to do this.”

I felt a tear slide down my cheek. This was my fault wasn’t it? I’d tried so hard to be a good friend, but I’m not. I deserved every tear I cry.

“Luke,” my tears started pouring down my cheeks. Luke came closer wrapping his arm around my shoulder. It felt less alone to have him next to me. It felt warm and safe. So safe. Even if he was leaving. And even if I had caused myself the pain. He would always be there, wouldn’t he.

“Please,” I sobbed as he held me, “Don’t go. I’m sorry. I’ll say it everyday for the rest of my life, if you just stay.”

“I can’t say it again Claire. . .I can’t.”

His voice was soft, his tears choking him as he spoke.

And there was my answer, there was nothing I could say to make him stay.

I took a deep breath, the sun was setting behind me, “You’ve made me smile when I never thought I would laugh again. You caused me the worst pain when I thought I would never feel again. Even when you give up, even when you leave, I still love you.”

Luke let his arm fall off my shoulder, the cold wind making shivers run down my back.

“I break your heart. I let you down and you always find a way to still love me. Why?”

I closed my eyes, this wasn’t supposed to happen. But it was and I’m done holding it in. I’m done lying.

“Even through all the pain you’ve caused me. You’ve managed to be the only one to bring me back. . .And I mean really back.”

Luke pulled me close, letting my chin rest on his shoulder, the cool wind blowing my hair into my face.

And I cried. Letting myself feel what I had made Luke feel. He had felt lost. I had told him to find his way. He said he needed help and I told him I couldn’t help. I let him down countless times. And yet he never stopped coming back.

I continued to cry, letting my tears soaked his shoulder.

Not because I was losing my best friend. But because he felt lost, and I hadn’t done anything to make him feel found. I had only told him that he was wrong. And that’s not what he needed.

I lifted my head off of his shoulder. His eyes were red, and his face stained deeply with tears.

“If you come back, and your still lost. I’ll help you,” I choked out through sobs.

I could see a small smile appear on his lips “Thank you.”

I fell back into his arms, holding him so tightly I almost felt like if I let go he would fall.