The way you slither through the hall. Flicking your tongue out. Wrapping yourself around my arm. I graze my hand down your body. You move into the little sleeve I made for you. “Aww it’s like a little jacket” I smile and take a picture savoring the moment.
Thank you for sharing your poem! I really enjoyed reading it and wanted to share some thoughts.
Strengths:
• Emotion: The feelings you conveyed were powerful and relatable. I appreciated how you expressed romance, making it resonate with readers.
• Structure: The flow of your poem was smooth, and the rhythm complemented the overall tone beautifully. It felt intentional and well-crafted.
Suggestions:
• Line Breaks: Consider experimenting with line breaks to enhance the pacing. Some lines felt a bit lengthy, and breaking them up could add emphasis and impact.
• Word Choice: While your word choices were generally strong, there were a few places where a more unique word or phrase might add an extra layer of depth.
Overall, this is a fantastic piece! I love the direction you’re taking with your poetry, and I encourage you to keep writing. I’m looking forward to seeing more of your work in the future!
Nice one, really nice
