STORY STARTER
Submitted by Orelli
I grab my sister's hand and pull her towards the cliff edge with me. She nods slowly in my direction. Then we jump.
Write the story leading up to, or going forward from, here.
STORY STARTER
Submitted by Orelli
I grab my sister's hand and pull her towards the cliff edge with me. She nods slowly in my direction. Then we jump.
Write the story leading up to, or going forward from, here.
This is a cool idea! It felt like he was doing something horrible until you realise he’s actually helping her and she’s fine 😂 I liked that you didn’t use many speech tags (he said, she shouted etc) and yet I could always tell who was speaking from their different personalities - a sign of really good characterisation!
It was a little confusing at the start when she fell ‘fifty feet below’ but somehow they’re still having a conversation - just a hint that they both fly down together could help it flow more sensibly.
Be aware of your tenses when you write - you constantly switch between present (eg ‘I grab’) and past (eg ‘She covered’) which really confuses the narrative. Just try to keep it consistent so it’s smoother to read 🙂