Mavis Bennett sighed as swapped out the May copy of Time magazine for the newer June issue. The cover read “The Demise of Diabolical Dental Debt” plastered over a set of chompers that would make an Englishmen grimace.

“Why do we even carry these anymore?” She thought as she worked her way over to the Sports Illustrated slot. Even “any reading is good reading” Mavis knew magazines were dead. She herself barely read any physical media anymore. Best to keep that fact to herself, though.

Beep. Beep. Beep. An alert from her Apple Watch signals its 10 AM.

“Shit” she thought as she looked out the window to see a carrier of death. That being the bus from Sherwood Ivy Retirment Community.

Old people loved libraries. Old people also love to complain. Old people love to bark orders. And no one complained or barked more than despicable old Bob Ferneli.

Bob slid his walker at a such pace that not only would he have lost a race fk both tortoise and the hare, but both creatures could complete the race and live long and fulfilling lives before ol’ Bob got to the finish line.

At 10:20, the automatic doors whoosh open. “MA’AM! MA’AM!” His gravelly voice sends a shiver down my spine. “ Always with the ma’am.” She thought. “I’m less than half your age. I’m a not a damn ma’am.”

“I’m right here, Mr. Ferneli” she said as she ran over to help him. She knew exactly what he wanted. The same table, the same chair, and a copy of the Boston Herald’s sport section. “PAPER!” he shouted as she shoved the folded up newspaper in front of his sagging jowels. “Never a please. Never a thank you.” she thought. “Anything else I can help you with?” He waved her off with a scowl.

Mavis headed back over to the magazines to put out the new Cosmopolitan that described “Ten ways to rid your BF of the ICK” as she heard it.

PFFFFFFFFFFFTTTTT, THRRRRRRP!

“BATHROOM! BATHROOM NOW!” The old curmudgeon belted.

“Did he just shit his pants? I do not get paid enough for this!”

She rushes over to him. Then grabbed his arm to help him up. That’s when it hits her. The smell of sulfur meets garlic bread. She gagged as her nose was assaulted. She put her hand over her mouth to stop her breakfast from returning.

“HURRY UP, BITCH” he howled. Mavis swallowed hard. Her vomit slide back down her throat.

While holding her breath, Mavis moved to lift him to his walker. For moment, she considered how satisfying it would be to just drop him with no warning. Watch him crack his head on the table. Maybe get a serious brain injury or maybe just thrive in pain. She smiled at the thought. “Not today though.”

She get the geezer over to the bathroom. He slammed the door. Once again she returned to the magazines.

Later as she placed a group of Highlights magazines on the kids rack, the voice boomed again. “TOILET PAPER! TOILET PAPER!”

“I don’t get paid enough”

The End