My biggest lie

I was able to tell,

Was the smile

I forced on myself.

For years

And years,

No one could tell,

I was actually living in hell.

Battered and bruised,

I covered myself

In a dark hoodie and jeans

With socks

Up to my knees,

And giant sunglasses

That cover

Half of my face.

And in ninety-seven degrees

No one questioned me.

Hell took its toll,

Breaking me down,

Till I was nothing but ashes

Scattered on the ground.

The demons screamed songs of hatered

And spit in my face.

They yanked down my skirt

And said

Don’t make a sound.

So I cried silent tears with my face in the ground.

For twelve long years,

The demons broke me to pieces.

They shattered my heart

And bathed in my tears.

Their sickening grin’s

Burned in my memory.

Their demonic sin’s,

Killing my soul.

And I tried to hang on

To the best of my ability,

But they broke my arms

My heart

My mind.

They sliced through my skin.

I hate that demon is kin.

And once I finally I told

The world of their work,

The world told me I lied,

That my life was a lie,

That the hell I’d survived

Was nothing but lies.

But I rose above.

I held up my head,

And I said to the world,

Fuck you if you choose to believe

A rapist instead.

Even now,

With the evidence

All piling up,

They say messed up things

That make me feel struck.

They say

My trauma made me stronger.

But they’re wrong.

So, so wrong.

My trauma made me weak.

It broke me down,

And hunted me,

Even in sleep.

The trauma derailed

My entire life.

I barely passed school,

Dealing with all of this strife.—

I pulled me up.—

I made me strong.-

No one but me

Helped me along.

I found the tape,

I used to stitch myself up.

I picked up the pieces

With my own broken fingers.

I clean off the blood

Dried to my life.

I held me up,

Through sleepless nights.

I was the one,

To guide me along.

I was the one who told myself to keep on.